What Happens When You Inherit More Wealth Than You Know What to Do With?

Most people who inherit wealth find out that money just amplifies who they already are. Cautious women can become terrified of making a single mistake. If you were a jerk, you'll now be an entitled jerk; if you were generous before, you'll donate so much you'll likely start thinking of yourself as a philanthropist. The inheritance can arrive long before the clarity does, so it takes folks a while to figure that out and decide if the new way is okay with them. The women who come through it well decide what they actually want before anyone else decides for them.

One of my first clients inherited the kind of money most people assume will last a lifetime plus legacy. Within a few years, a significant chunk of it was gone.

She had trusted people who didn't serve her well. At the same time, her marriage was ending, and she was pouring her energy into a legal fight with her ex-husband over that inheritance money.

I asked her the thing I often ask my clients: What is this costing you? And what opportunities are you giving up by continuing to fight? Right and wrong had nothing to do with it. Every choice has a cost, and she started noticing what this fight was costing her in time, energy, and the ability to move forward with her life.

She chose to settle, and then she moved on.

This is a question I come back to again and again in my work. What's the cost of continuing down this road? And what's the opportunity you're missing because you're so focused on what's right in front of you? For women stepping into substantial wealth, those questions can change everything.

Who's Preparing the Women?

We're entering an unprecedented period of wealth changing hands, and a huge share of it is moving to women. Some will inherit from parents and others will outlive spouses. Many will receive proceeds from businesses they built or investments they made.

The financial industry is busy preparing for the transfer of assets. Very few people are preparing the women receiving them.

Money Amplifies What's Already There

If you've always loved beautiful things you couldn't afford, you may find yourself buying every one in sight. If you've always let someone else make the decisions, you may hand them over even faster once the stakes get bigger.

I've watched women go through money at speed, and I've watched others so frightened of losing it they can barely touch it. The ones I think about most are the women who have more money than they ever imagined and still aren't living a life they love.

My client was like that when she came to me.

What Did She Actually Want?

Once the fight was behind her, we worked on a question that sounds deceptively simple for most women: what did she want her life to look like?

For years her decisions had been driven by fear of losing the money and by what other people thought she should do with it. So we asked what choices she could start making, deliberately, that she genuinely loved.

Today she works with an excellent wealth advisor and lives on a monthly spending plan that lets her enjoy her money without touching the principal. She travels the world. One of the places she chose was Egypt, and she came with me.

Watching her there was one of the reasons I do this work. Here was a woman who had nearly let her inheritance and her energy drain away in a legal fight, and now she was choosing exactly where she wanted to be.

What changed was how she made decisions. She took charge of her own life, and her money started working for it.

The Question Money Leaves Behind

Most of us spend our lives making decisions inside limits. Can I afford it? Is it practical? What will everyone think? Should I save that money instead?

Then one day many of those limits disappear. For some women that feels exhilarating, and for others it's overwhelming.

When money stops being the reason you aren't doing something, you're left with a much harder question: why aren't you doing it?

Maybe you've always wanted to start a foundation, write a book, buy a home on the beach, or spend your days immersed in art. Yet you've been so busy being the responsible daughter, wife, mother, executive, or business owner that you've never stopped to ask what you would love.

The money can arrive overnight. Permission can take a lot longer.

Most of the conversation about the Great Wealth Transfer covers how women might invest their wealth and pass it to the next generation. Almost none of it covers how they'll actually live with it.

Becoming More Fully Yourself

A lot of personal development teaching says you have to become different to hold more money. My experience with inherited wealth shows a deeper truth.

A woman who inherits substantial wealth needs to become more fully herself.

Money can free the parts of you that have been waiting for permission. The adventurous woman finally explores the world, and the artist stops calling her creativity a hobby. The woman who spent decades caring for everyone else starts caring for herself. Some women discover desires they never knew they had, and that part can be a lot of fun.

Your wealth advisor and your estate attorney can help you manage the money. Neither of them can tell you what kind of life will make you happy. My client needed both kinds of help. The financial guidance could be hired. The choices about how she wanted to live had to come from her.

Deciding what you love is your work, and it's a question to ponder before the money arrives.

What I'd Love You to Consider This Week

For generations, women were taught to put everyone else's needs first and let someone else handle the money. Now enormous amounts of wealth are moving into women's hands. Some will be ready and some will feel overwhelmed. Some will make expensive mistakes, and others will use their newfound freedom to create lives that are more fully theirs than anything they imagined.

You don't need to inherit a fortune to start this work. You can begin making deliberate choices about the life you love right now, and if substantial wealth does arrive, you'll be so glad you already began.

If money were no longer the deciding factor in your choices, what would you deliberately choose to create?

Answer it for yourself before anyone else gets a vote.

Receiving wealth and knowing what to do with it take different skills. The second one, the confidence to make your own choices, may be the most valuable inheritance of all.

Join Me at My Next Great Wealth Transfer Masterclass

We'll explore what it takes to receive and hold wealth, and how to make conscious choices so your money supports the life you actually want to live.

I'll see you there.