YGA 20 | Protect Yourself From Suicide

How do you protect yourself from suicide? In this episode, Liz Fouche and Halle Eavelyn discuss the protective role of setting boundaries against the urge to take your own life. Liz had felt suicidal since her mother died. She’s learned many things through her experience that she wants to share with you today. The number one lesson is for you to set brick-hard boundaries for yourself. Learn to say no and stick to it. If you don’t, you’ll pay a very high price – your life. Tune in to learn how to set healthy personal boundaries.

 

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Full transcription of the show is below.

Liz, I’m grateful that you are here as our guest. I understand that we’re going to be talking about one of the most difficult topics that there ever is to discuss. That is the desire to leave this planet. Suicide is something that we don’t talk about enough in our society as women. We don’t share with our friends. It’s like a deep, dark secret that is something that we don’t normally share. You have agreed because you said you were open to come and talk about your feelings and to hopefully, experience a clearing so that you will shift those feelings. Thank you for being here.

Your skin is grass. Others can try to cut it as much as they want. But it will grow back. Click To Tweet

Thank you for having me, Halle.

You said that you’ve been feeling suicidal since your mother died years ago. Talk about that. You can talk about whatever you’d like.

She was my only friend because we’ve been together since the day I was born. I’ve never left her side. I’m her only daughter. She was protective of me. Being raised in the late ‘50s, early ‘60s, corporal punishment was always an issue with her. She had three boys and everybody got punished when one of us did something. It didn’t matter who it was because she wasn’t bothered to find out who did what. She punished everybody. Whether I was a part of it or not, it didn’t matter. Everybody was treated equally by my mom. When it was a shameful thing that one of us did, she would bring in my father, and then we would be punished by him too. That’s the physical abuse that I received from my parents. At one point in time, my father’s siblings lived with us. They would get involved in it too.

I’m sorry. That’s difficult.

I remember I must have been 7 or 8 years old when I didn’t do anything and I was sleeping. I wasn’t even aware that there was an issue. Mom called me into the living room and started hitting me with a belt. I was upset because I was awakened to be beaten. For what? I don’t know. I stood there. I took it and after she got tired, I said to her, “Are you tired? Are you going to stop?” She got even angrier and started to hit me hard. I said to her when she stopped, “My skin is grass. It’s going to grow. You can try to cut it as much as you want. It’s not going to bother me and I’m not going to cry.” We lived in Haiti at the time. The cook heard her going crazy and she came to grab me so my mother would stop hitting me. She got beaten too. I said to her, “You’re never going to touch me again. I’m done with that nonsense. God gave us the power of speech. We’re going to talk from now on,” and she did.

Until you learn the lesson, your soul can't expand. Click To Tweet

I want to pause for a second and say how profound that one sentence is, “My skin is grass and it will grow back. You can cut it as much as you like and it will still grow back.” That’s remarkable for you to say that at seven. I know they say, “From the mouths of babes,” but that’s crazy. I’m in awe of you at that age doing that. That’s quite amazing. Is that how you began the journey from your mother as your tormentor to your mother as your best friend?

Yes. Until the day she died, she used to tell it to my children all the time. Whenever they’re doing something that I get upset about, I never hit them. I always spoke to them even if it took me 2 or 3 hours to get my point across if that’s what it’s going to take. You’re going to hear me, “I will not touch your body for whatever reason.” She used to say to me, “Your skin is grass.” I said, “Yes. There’s no point for you to punish me.”

She never forgot that.

She told my children the story all the time.

YGA 20 | Protect Yourself From Suicide

Protect Yourself From Suicide: When people say “I want to commit suicide,” what they’re actually saying is “I need help.”

 

Tell me about your religious or spiritual beliefs because a lot of times, that can have a big effect on how we show up.

I was raised Roman Catholic.

You were raised where suicide was a sin and if you commit suicide, you go to hell. That’s what the Catholics say.

I’ve never been religious. I went to church. I raised my children as Catholics. They went through the religious initiations or what you want to call communion, confirmation, baptism, all of that. I don’t force them to go to church. I don’t force them to pray. When they do come to me and ask me, “Mom, can you pray for me?” I say, “Why don’t you pray for yourself? If you want something, you’ve got to be the one to ask for it. Why do I have to do it?” They say, “You always get what you want.” I say, “No. We get what we ask for. If you ask for it, you’ll get it.” As far as going to church regularly, I don’t do that. I do believe in God and in a higher power. That’s my faith.

Tell me about the situation where you’ve been feeling suicidal. When did you first have feelings of wanting to commit suicide and what causes them to ebb and flow for you?

Back in 2003, I started going through menopause. I didn’t understand the changes that were taking place in my body. I was having immune deficiency problems and it was getting progressively worse. My mother started to get worse because she had a lot of health issues. I was extremely emotional. I blew up multiple times at my job. I was in a high administration position. It’s not something that I should do. I had over 30 direct reports that work with me. They saw the changes. While I’m going through the changes, there are things are happening at home and work because we were merging companies. Too many things are changing at once and I could not deal with it. That was difficult for me at the time.

One day, I don’t know what I ate or what happened but I wind up with a bad stomach cramp. I wind up in the hospital. That’s when they find out that I was having some immune deficiency. I stayed in the hospital for a couple of days. My husband didn’t even know I was in the hospital. They didn’t know where I was. I finally was able to call my daughter and let her know where I was. I was fatigued, tired and stressed. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had ten people living in my house at the time.

Set boundaries that will protect you or you will pay with your life. Click To Tweet

You live alone now.

No. I live with my son.

It all got to be too much and you decided, “That’s it. I’m done.” Did you attempt suicide?

Yes, I did.

Why wasn’t it successful?

My children.

They intervened.

Yes.

Your children intervened because they felt sorry or loved you?

We never talked about it. Let’s say they don’t want me to do it. They do say all the time that they love me but I feel that they drain me a lot more than anybody else. It’s always mom at the rescue, not only for my children but for my siblings too. I’m their rescuer.

When we are in that situation where everything feels hopeless, there are a bunch of different reasons for it. When you say, “I’m the rescuer,” what you’re saying is, “I don’t want to be the rescuer anymore.” I’m just making this up but imagine that instead of killing yourself, you removed yourself from the situation. You left everything behind, which you would do if you died. Instead, you moved somewhere else. That would release you from the responsibility the same way as if you had killed yourself, except you wouldn’t need to leave your life to do it. What would happen if that were how you chose to remove yourself from the situation instead of physically removing yourself in that way to another location as opposed to leaving the planet? What does that feel like for you?

I know that wherever I am, they know how to get me to come back into their lives. They know how to get under my skin. I’m the type of person that doesn’t like people insisting. It annoys me very much if they keep on insisting. I will just give in and that’s how I treated them.

It’s interesting because the desperation that you feel is the desperation of wanting your behavior to shift, not necessarily the desperation of wanting to remove yourself from the planet. There are people who when they want to commit suicide, what they’re really saying is, “I need some freaking help here. I’m desperate.” There are other people who are uncomfortable in their bodies that all they want to do is leave. It feels like you’re more in the first camp and less than the second camp. It’s the behaviors that need to shift. It’s the learnings for yourself. Those learnings came around when you were a little girl, but you agree that it’s possible for you to grow and be different. As an adult, it’s possible for you to change. The story that we’re setting up here is, “I am so uncomfortable that I want to leave. They’ll find a way to get me back with them in my old situation. Because I don’t like insisting because insisting annoys me, that will cause me to give in. I’ll come back into this loop again. I want to remove myself from this loop completely.”

YGA 20 | Protect Yourself From Suicide

Protect Yourself From Suicide: Absence makes the heart grow fonder for a reason.

 

I feel like there are other ways that you could go about removing yourself from the loop. I’m making this up but think about witness protection. In witness protection, you go and live under a different name somewhere else. Why do you do that? Because you’re in danger of being found and you don’t want to be found. You could change your name and disappear into the night. Go be a realtor in another state completely. There are things that you could do that would feel drastic but they’d still be a lot less drastic than taking your own life. That’s about as permanent as you can get.

Let me back up a little bit and talk about what I feel is why you don’t want to kill yourself. To me, the rules that religion impose on us, whether it’s the Roman Catholics or all the religions, is suicide is bad. Why is suicide bad? According to them, it’s because it’s a mortal sin. It causes you to go into the fires of hell or outer darkness and stay there forever and ever. That would be bad. For me, when you commit suicide, I believe that you’re going to have to come back and repeat that lesson or learn it elsewhere. You don’t necessarily come back as Liz two. Next time, you might come back as a turtle or something. The point is the lesson has to be learned. Until the lesson is learned, the soul can’t expand. Until the soul expands, the soul can’t go on to learn another lesson. That’s the part that we want to fix. Does that all resonate for you? Does that ring true?

Yes.

The reason that you don’t want to commit suicide at the core is so that you don’t have to come and learn that lesson somewhere else. If we use that as our basis, then the question becomes, how else can I learn this lesson more easily? Are you okay with learning the lesson more easily and not having to struggle and leave to come back and learn the lesson some other way?

Right.

Let’s talk through what I’ll call witness protection. What if you went into our version of witness protection? You changed your name and became a realtor in another state or you did something different that wasn’t the type of business that you have. There are people who create fake IDs, etc. Let’s say you did that. You would have effectively committed “suicide” because you would have removed yourself from your family. You could leave them a note and say, “You people have driven me crazy for the last time. I’m out.” They would know you hadn’t died. They would have that understanding. You would have removed yourself completely from the situation.

Say “no” at least once and stick to it. Click To Tweet

I’m not looking for you to do this necessarily unless it appeals to you. There are people who run off to Mexico or go live on a Caribbean Island or whatever all the time. Feel free to do any of that if that’s what you desire. The thing is we want you to move away from the pain that you’re experiencing and into something that feels better. We’re having a conversation because it’s easier to have in our minds first, “How can I move towards something that makes me feel better? What could make me feel better?” Our witness protection scenario is, “Does this make me feel better?” That is the end game. When we feel better, we don’t want to kill ourselves. When we feel better, we move toward what God, the spirit or whatever your favorite word is, wants us to feel which is joy. We are moving into joy.

Let’s talk about the witness protection scenario for you, Liz. Would that make you feel better if you didn’t have any of the familial obligations or if your family didn’t know where you were but knew that you were safe? It would cause a lot of trauma in your family if you killed yourself. It would cause maybe some less trauma if let’s say in witness protection, you’re going to the Caribbean Island. You smiled big when I said that. Let’s say you move there, maybe it’s Haiti, Turks and Caicos. Maybe it’s some little outlier spot that doesn’t even have a name and no tourists ever go or any of those things. How would that feel for you?

I’ve done it in the past and it feels great because I don’t have to worry about them. They’re all adults that can take care of themselves. It comes to a point where I’m called back. My youngest had a baby two years ago. I wind up having to take care of him for a whole year when we had COVID because all the daycares were closed. She uses me as her backup plan, which is unfair.

If you want to not be the backup plan, what happens if you tell her, “No.” What if you say, “No,” then what?

She knows I’m not going to hold to it because they don’t hear that word from me.

I’m not belittling your actual feelings of, “I want to kill myself.” I believe you. What I’m saying is that feeling is simply the most desperate cry for help. A lot of times, if people are seriously depressed, there’s a huge chemical imbalance. It’s not so much a cry for help. It’s like, “I want to get out of this body.” It doesn’t feel like that’s the case for you. Would you agree with that?

I do agree with it. The emotion, the overwhelm, is mostly from being pulled all sides because everybody’s time is coming on to me. I’m the solution for them. Forget about what I want.

The reason is that you’re continuing to put yourself last and say your feelings aren’t as important as their feelings. What could we do to shift the totem pole so that you’re at the top of the totem pole and not anymore at the bottom of the barrel? What would help? You’ve already had the escape to the Caribbean Island thing. Your mistake was you gave them your telephone number or your forwarding address. Let’s start with that briefly. Close your eyes for a second and imagine you’ve gone to a new Caribbean Island, a different one. You’re by yourself six months a year. The other six months a year, you come back so that you can enjoy your grandchildren or see people.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder for a reason. People go, “She was great to us. We’ll have to treat her better when she comes back. We miss her.” What if for six months of the year you live on your Caribbean Island and the other six months of the year you live at home? Pretend that’s financially feasible. It’s not about those specifics. What would happen if that happened? How would that feel for you?

I would enjoy it but I would still feel guilty that I don’t know how my youngest and grandson would be doing because she’s a single mom. I would be worried about that a lot. She’s the one that gets under my skin the most. I’ve spoken to her about it because I’ve been wanting to do it. I said, “If I can’t go to a Caribbean Island, I’ll move to Florida.” I started to study for my real estate license for Florida. We talked about it and she’s like, “You can’t go.”

You can go. What I’ve understood from you multiple times is guilt and lack of choice. This is important because the person is saying, “My feelings. My situation. My circumstance.” Being a single mom with a baby is difficult. You not living your life is also difficult and your whole life being a babysitter is difficult.

YGA 20 | Protect Yourself From Suicide

Protect Yourself From Suicide: People are productive in eight-hour shifts, five days a week.

 

I still have to support myself.

Also, you still have dreams of your own like moving to Florida and getting your real estate license in Florida. Correct me if I’m wrong. This is interesting because this is not what I thought we were going to be talking about. It’s fine. In a way, this is much easier because I feel like you have a lot to live for. You love your family but you want to live for yourself first and them second. I’m asking you, do you really want to kill yourself or do you just want to have more balance in your life?

I want to have more balance in my life. Suicide was the fastest way to get out of this point. At one point, I felt that I was in their way. They didn’t want to grow anymore and continue relying on mom. I raised all four of them by myself too. I’m a single mom.

That’s what your daughter has modeled and that’s what she’s seeing. What you get to model for your children now is standing on your own two feet and making a stand for yourself. If I say to you, “Put yourself first and put everybody else last,” how does that feel inside of you?

I’m scared. If I was younger, it wouldn’t have been an issue because I’ve always had to put myself first so I could provide for them. I had a backup. Mom was always there. I know they will be okay and safe because I raised them to be independent but for some reason, they’re not.

You also raised them to not be independent by your actions. You told them to be independent with your words but your action said, “You can always come home again. You can always rely on mom.” You’re a contradiction here for your children. My first question is in this now moment, do you feel like there’s hope and you’d like to stick around for that hope?

Yes.

That’s the big shift. People who feel there’s no hope want to kill themselves. People who feel that there is hope are willing to stick around. Getting to a place where you feel hope regarding anything will help. My next question is, what do you do to bring joy into your life? You said you have to take care of your grandson but does he also bring you joy?

A lot.

Being with your grandson could feel like joy if it didn’t also feel like a burden.

She has no other choice. It happened that I’m busy with my business and I can’t take care of them. I have to give up my finances to take care of them.

It does not help you at all. However, if you weren’t available because you had committed suicide, she would have to be independent, think for herself, make a different choice, and find a different solution. For me, a good boundary. A lot of this is not having boundaries in place. We all need strong boundaries because they protect us. If you have no boundaries, you’re not protected at all. I want to invite you to set some boundaries that will protect you. Are you willing to start setting boundaries that will protect you? The cost of not protecting yourself is you will pay with your life and that is too high a price to pay. Do you agree with that?

Yes. I’ve never heard of it that way in my head.

The price that you will pay is with your life. Hear that like your mom heard that your skin was like grass. A boundary that I set is, “Does this affect my finances? If I can do this thing or this thing, which is going to affect my finances? If this free thing is something I can do in my spare time, I’m happy to do it. If this thing over here is affecting my finances, I can’t do it.” I’ll give you this little example. This call is me doing client work for free. When I do trauma clearing on the show, I don’t charge for it. Whereas if you were my private client, I would be getting paid to work with you. Why do I do that? It’s my way of giving back. It’s my way of contributing. It’s my way of getting my message out to more people than I can, working with someone one-on-one in a closed space. For all those reasons, that’s my choice.

If somebody came to me every single hour of every single day and said, “I need you to work with me for free.” I could do that. I could entirely volunteer but then I wouldn’t have money for groceries, to go on vacation or to do whatever it is that I wanted to do in the world. That would be imbalanced. There are people, by the way, who make that choice. They stay in a volunteer position all the time and don’t have any money, and they wonder what’s wrong with their lives. I’ve known people like that. What we want is that balance. I love giving back and being able to have the show, and do trauma clearings for people. However, I have to only do it a small percentage of the time.

For example, you could say to your daughter, “You get five hours of babysitting a week. I can donate that time because I got this many hours in a week.” We sleep for eight hours. We futz for some of the time and we have a twelve-hour day that could be devoted to productive stuff. We got four hours of sluff, eight hours of sleep, and a 24-hour day. We got about twelve productive hours in our day. That’s not twelve work hours. That got abolished by Henry Ford when he started the 40-hour workweek. Why did he start the 40-hour workweek? Because he recognized that people were more productive in eight-hour shifts five days a week than they were in 12-hour shifts, 6.5 days a week. Henry Ford proved empirically that working longer doesn’t give us better results. We’re just not working smarter. We’re going to design an environment that you would love right now that will allow you to feel like you have some control over your own life. Would that be okay?

Make more time for yourself. Click To Tweet

Yes.

If you have twelve hours of a productive day and not a workday, then you have those 12 hours, 7 days a week. Some days you’re not going to work at all but it’s still twelve productive hours. You can do whatever you wanted. That gives you 12 x 7. We have 84 hours a week. How much of that time would you like to donate to your daughter to babysit?

Overnight. I would rather go sleep with the baby than give her a full day.

She needs you for the overnights, is that right?

Yes. When she wants to go out with her friends, I need to come and stay with him. I have to be there by 5:00 or 5:30. I would leave the following morning. That’s another issue too. On the following morning, she wants to linger and talk. I said, “There are things to do. I got to go.” One time I got angry and I took an Uber home.

Let’s say that when we design our lives, we get permission to do it any way that we would like. Let’s allocate an hour a day that you are with your daughter to talk to her. Let’s also allocate from 5:00 PM on until you go to sleep, which might be 10:00 PM. Five hours of your productive day plus one hour the next morning is six hours. How many days a week are you willing to do that?

No more than once.

That’s what you say to your daughter, “You get one overnight a week where I will watch your son.” What if let’s say half a day with your grandson and you also allocated one five-hour block during the day every week in case she tells you there’s an emergency? Would you be willing to donate that time to her knowing that your grandson brings you joy?

Yes.

I want you to write this down, not necessarily right now. You’ll get a copy of our session together right afterward. I want you to go back and write all of this down because it’s important for you to get permission from yourself to have boundaries. A schedule gives us boundaries and makes us feel empowered and making a choice, “You get one overnight a week. Go play with your friends.” It was her choice to be a single mom. It’s her choice to have the baby in the first place. These are not your choices. You want to distance yourself from being stuck inside of her choices. She doesn’t have the boundaries with you because you don’t have the boundaries with her.

Liz, this is hard. You’re going to have to say no at least once and stick to it. If you’re a brick wall, they can lean on you as hard as they want and they’re never going to get the result. See yourself in those moments. Put the brick wall up in front of you. You stand safely behind the brick wall, “I can go about my business right now,” but the brick wall is the thing they keep running into. Because you find insisting annoying, they know you’re going to find it annoying. Therefore, this is the behavior and the cycle that they’ve set up. This is what’s going to get fixed. You’ve got to be the one to break the cycle. This is a new behavior.

Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” We’re inviting you into a scenario where you are going to start doing things differently. When you show up differently, the world will react to you differently. Why is that? It’s because of the way that energy works. Energy is everything, everywhere. It’s the stuff that the universe is made from. You and I are having an energetic interaction. We call it talking, looking at each other and listening. It’s an exchange of energy.

Energy is being created by my thoughts, being translated into my words through the physical mechanisms of my body. All of it is energy flowing through me. It’s the same thing when you talk. Your energetic exchanges with your children and with your families require some tweaking. We’re going to tweak with that word no and those boundaries. With the boundaries, the question is, what is the worst thing that will happen if you tell your daughter no?

She won’t get angry. She’ll be very surprised and respect it.

There’s always a benefit that we get. You said it earlier so I’m going to bring it right back up to the surface right now. You said, “I always have to rescue my family.” That means that you get a benefit from rescuing your family. What benefit do you get from rescuing your family?

I feel good about it sometimes.

Sometimes it feels good to rescue your family.

Sometimes it’s a burden.

What’s happened is that this has gotten out of balance that the burden feels like it’s much bigger than feeling good about it. The burden is all up here and the feeling good about it part is down here. How do we shift that for you? What would be one way that you can shift that burden for you?

Have more time for myself.

That will be the result. Making more time for yourself is a good way to shift that burden. It feels like you’re in a call center and when the phone rings, you’re like, “Hello, call center. What burden do you need relieved? Let me take care of that for you right now.” You then hang up and go take care of them. It feels like that is what’s going on right now. How do we shift out of that? You’ve got to come off of 24/7 call center duty.

Don’t pick up the phone.

Pick up the phone when you want to or when you have time. If you’re in a client showing right now and one of your kids rings you, do you answer the phone?

YGA 20 | Protect Yourself From Suicide

Protect Yourself From Suicide: Make decisions from a place of strength.

 

Usually.

That’s a boundary that has to shift. This is not just your time now but your potential client’s time as well. You put your phone on silent and leave your phone in your pocket. When that phone rings, you don’t even know about it. Make sure it doesn’t vibrate either. Turn the vibration off. If there is an emergency, let it be somebody else’s emergency. I’m going to come back to something deep here. I want to ask you a question. If you don’t play the rescuer role, will you lose your value with your family?

No.

If you don’t play the rescuer role, will you still have self-worth?

Yes.

The answer could be no, in which case that’s something that you want to address. Where else will you get your self-worth if you are no longer the rescuer?

I will be more productive in my life and that would trickle down to them too. I would be a lot more with them in a shorter amount of time than me being around all the time.

All of that is true. Go back to what I was asking before. Where else will your self-worth come from? It’s not what will you do, not how will you show up for your family, but how will you value yourself when you are not rescuing people for a living? What other values do you have inside of you? What do you contribute to the world other than your ability to rescue people?

I’ll be more available to my client and customers. I’ll be happier with myself.

Those are good starts. You’ll like yourself better, that’s good. What other qualities do you have inside of you? Are you strong?

Very.

Are you hard-working?

Extremely. I am a workaholic.

It’s also is a boundary that needs to shift. How many hours a day do you work?

It depends. Sometimes I can work eighteen hours.

I want to invite you to work no more than ten hours any day because of that Henry Ford thing. An eighteen-hour day is not supportive or productive in any way. From working smarter and not harder space, we want to shift you because you get to that place where you’ve worked hard and you’re not making decisions from a place of strength. You’re making decisions from a place of exhaustion. Ten hours a day maximum. Do you work seven days a week?

Six.

One of those days has to be half a day. Another one of those days has to be half a day. If you’re going to work 6 days a week, work 5.5 days a week. It’ll be five days because you’ll work 4 full days and 2 half days. You got to plug the phone into the wall to recharge your battery. Do you know what will happen if your phone gets within 1%? Sometimes this happens even at 20%. It goes out. It’s like, “I’m at 20%. Why did the phone shut down?” We’re like that too.

When you get that low on your battery, you don’t make intelligent decisions and you stop thinking straight. You start thinking, “I need to kill myself because I got to get out of the situation.” Charging your batteries by plugging yourself back into the wall is what will help shift everything for you because you will be coming from a place of strength internally. You said that you’d be happier and like yourself more if you made some of these shifts. Are you willing to commit to making them?

The highest price you can pay for your time not being valued is your life. Click To Tweet

Yes.

Are you willing to commit to asking yourself in your productive twelve hours, “What do I want to do?” Also, mapping that out for five minutes in the morning.

Yes. I’ve been doing it more and more.

For now, that boundary is no more than 10 working hours out of your 12 productive hours, which still gives you an extra four hours of sluff where you can do whatever else you would like. Use the word no. At first, that will be hard. The firmer you are and the more energy you put behind it like feel this, “No, I don’t want to do that.” Now feel this, “No.” Which feels stronger?

The last one.

Why?

Because of the tone you used.

You heard my outside voice.

Yes.

My outside voice comes from my inside voice pushing. My inside voice is planting my foot and knowing. My knowing that it is a done deal causes my outside voice to shift and my tone to show up firmly. Women tend to put ups at the end of our sentences instead of downs, which means everything sounds like a question. If you say, “No,” it sounds like you’re not sure and then people are like, “Let me get into that space and make it happen.” That’s not supportive of you. When you say no and set the intention behind it and you have that push of planting your feet, that is the no that makes people say, “She means business.”

The highest price that you can pay for your time not being valued is your life. The second-highest price you can pay for your time not being valued is your finances. Pay me now, pay me later, you’re spending some of that money on your kids and your grandkids. You don’t have the money to do that if all the money you have is to buy your groceries because they took up all your time. I have a piece of homework for you. Are you familiar with Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree?

No.

I want you to get that book. It is a child’s book. It is the most profound book about over-giving you will ever see in your life. I want you to go buy a copy of that book and read it. It’ll take you five minutes to read it. I then want you to start reading it to your grandson. You can say, “I got this book and I’m reading it to my grandson.” Even though he’s a baby and won’t understand, that’s okay. You will understand. I want you to remember that The Giving Tree would have given and been able to replenish so much of himself until he gave his core. That’s what’s going on with you. I invite you into a new space of those boundaries where you will feel empowered and never ever feel like that price that you have to pay with your life is not too high. Does this help?

A lot. Thank you so much.

I’m glad. I’m sending you big hugs and blessings.

I’ll take it all in. Thank you.

I’ll talk to you soon.