YGA 8 | Trauma Clearing

 

Is there anything that happened in your childhood that still feels painful? In this trauma clearing episode, Cortney Ostrosky opens up to me about her childhood traumatic experiences.

 

In this episode, you’ll witness how I gently peel back the layers to help Cortney get to her core. Cortney shares how she always had to figure things out on her own. She hardly had a mother figure who looked out for her. As a result, she tends to push people away from her in her adult relationships. If you have similar trauma in your childhood you need help clearing, this episode is for you.

 

Links & Resources

If you’d like to be considered to do trauma clearing for a future episode, please click here.

About Cortney Ostrosky

YGA 8 | Trauma ClearingMy name is Cortney Ostrosky & my mission is to share the light & make the world a better place.

I’m a quintessential Gemini who loves to learn, travel & make friends wherever I go.

I’m most recently the host of the Unique Way Podcast, which is my newest passion project & quickly becoming my favorite thing to do!

I’m also a yoga teacher, international retreat leader, human design reader & self-discovery coach living in Charleston, SC.

I love health & wellness, soaking up the sun & all the beauty of nature, living a clean high-vibe lifestyle & I’m always up for a dance party.

I’m so happy you found me & hope our paths cross someday in real life – on the mat, in a reading or on a retreat!

 

Full transcription of the show is below:

We’re going to start by praying in. That’s what I like to call it. I learned that in The Science of Mind. Close your eyes and feel this blessing wash over you like a waterfall. I’m grateful to come together at this moment. I’m grateful to know that everything is unfolding perfectly and Cortney is highest and best good. I’m grateful to know that we are experiencing everything exactly as we are supposed to. Cortney is getting exactly the work that she needs to go to the next level of yes. I am grateful for this time together. I am grateful for the chance to speak the word. I am grateful to get to know the truth about this being known as Cortney and releasing my word into the law knowing that it is already done, so it is. Amen. First of all, I want to preface by saying Cortney and I have met before because I got to be a guest on her beautiful and brilliant podcast.

I know everyone’s going to love you and our conversation. It was so fun chatting with you and it’s nice to be on the receiving end this time and in your company, so thank you for having me.

Thank you. It was a good conversation. The thing that we talked about that sparked this is that I do trauma clearing and Cortney was like, “Me.” I said, “Come be a trauma clearing guest on the show.” I do these episodes once a month and I will clear whatever anybody needs. We didn’t talk about was what that is for you, so why don’t you share a little bit about what it is that you would like help with?

I have been putting a lot of focus on healing my inner child. I’ve had a few things that have happened that have made me do a lot of self-reflection as to why I’m showing up the way I’m showing up and showing up in ways that could be hurtful. It took me back to my childhood and unresolved things. There’s nothing that was completely life-shattering. I would say small-t trauma, not Big-T trauma, but still, nonetheless, it’s trauma that deeply affected me.

I wasn’t even aware of it until I started to do a little self-reflection and understanding, “There are still these ties to the past because this is some unresolved stuff that I haven’t wanted to look at or make peace with.” I’ve been focusing on that and loving my inner child in a way that never got love. It’s been helpful in healing and I’m looking forward to this work with you because I felt such good energy from you and trust your gifts. I am always looking for answers within myself, but also open to teachers that come into my life. I feel like we’re all in each other’s lives for a reason. That’s where I’m at.

I want to invite you to do something a little bit maybe unexpected. I feel like the work that you’ve done in the past has been a good grounding for wanting to have these shifts and to experiencing them. I’d like you to let everything go. Don’t get attached to, “When I did this work, it looked like this. When I was with this teacher, it looked like this. This is how my inner child needs to be.” We may uncover some new stuff for you and I’d like to invite you to go maybe deeper with the work that you’ve already done.

It’s almost like we’re archeological digs. You get down to this layer and it’s like, “This is the Bronze Age layer,” and then you get down underneath and it’s like, “There’s something below that.” We forget that there are layers under the layers. What we’re going to be focusing on is like, “Can we get down?” It’s like we’re peeling back the layers of the onion, and then my job is to get to the core. What I’m focusing on is can we get you to the core? You said not trauma with a capital T, which is interesting because that’s a phrase I use as well. Great minds. It works for me. Is there anything that happened in your childhood that feels still painful or anything that you feel like that thing created this behavior? Is there anything where you’ve made those connections already?

I can be transparent and it does involve my mother for instance, but I’m not going to share anything that wouldn’t be something I would say in front of her. She had me at eighteen and she was a single mom. Being born to someone so young who’s still a child themselves has its own struggle. I’ve always felt growing up that I was more like a sister, sometimes more of an annoyance, or an accident or a bother for a lot of my life. I also felt like when my mom got remarried and had kids, it was like I didn’t belong.

That definitely affects my relationship with my family now and it makes me emotional because I feel like I take that into my relationships where I pushed people away and I don’t want to be that way. I feel like I want something from her or an acknowledgment because there was so much that had happened in my life. I don’t feel like I’m ever going to get that, so I need to make peace with it but I don’t know how. I feel like, “I’ve forgiven and I’ve done the work and we’re good,” and then it seems to resurface. It’s getting to the root of it hasn’t happened and maybe this is something I’ll always deal with.

Maybe it’s something you’ll let go of. That would be okay with you, right?

Absolutely. That’s where I’m at.

I don’t understand this but I just know how it is. The way that my work is stuff jumps out at me because that’s the stuff that we need to focus on. Here’s what jumps out. First of all, you went from sister to annoyance to accident. Those are some different energies and yet, they all tumbled out at the same time. You then talked about not belonging to your family and now you’re talking about pushing people away. Those are the three places that we’re going to start with.

Sister is usually good energy. My sister and I were oil and water for the first 40 years that she was on this Earth and now we’re good friends and we do well together. My mother has always said, “She’s your only sister.” She’s my only known sister. I have a half-sister that I’ve never met and that’s a whole other thing. When we have relationships where they’re a little rocky but it’s still family, it matters less that she’s your mother or she’s your sister.

There’s still the super closeness, but there’s a big difference between that energy and the energy of, “I was an accident.” Reverend Michael Beckwith at Agape, which is this big spiritual center that was my home for ten years, says, “We are all on purpose with a purpose.” My question to you is have you gotten to a place where you’ve embodied that of feeling like, “I’m on purpose with a purpose.” Is there some part of you that still feels like, “I was an accident?”

Thank you for also clarifying some things. When I was referring to feeling more like a sister, I never felt like she was that mothering figure that I felt like I needed and it was never there. It felt like I wanted that mothering, nurturing. Everything was always so hard. Where I’m coming at it from is the lack of that mothering, nurturing energy that I wanted and needed, and that’s why I made that comment. Not sure if that clears anything up for you, but back to your question about purpose, I do truly feel purposeful in my life.

Ever since I was young, I have had a deep spiritual practice and connection with God. I feel called to share the light in the world that’s taken on different forms from teaching yoga to coaching women to writing. My work is what gives me purpose because I feel that my work is making a difference in little and big ways. For me, if I were doing work that I didn’t feel like was making a contribution, I would feel like I wasn’t living with purpose. My work is my passion, my purpose, and a deep source of fulfillment in my life.

Is it okay for you to have work be fulfilling and also have love that is fulfilling? Is it okay in your mind to have both running equally well at the same time?

The work is so fulfilling. If that’s good, I’m good. I was the oldest and I’m taking care of many young children.

How many is many? Were you running a school?

I have five younger siblings and my parents kept younger foster children. There are sometimes between 8 and 10 kids that I was tending to at a young age myself. It was crazy. The amount of duties, work and physical labor that I had to do before even 6:00 AM some days was taxing. It was expected and it was hard. It was a lot to manage as a kid myself. I left home as soon as I could. I’ve been on my own since seventeen and I’ve always provided for myself.

I felt like I was taking care of kids my whole life up until seventeen, so I’ve never had a desire to have children. Maybe in regards to a partnership, I do want a partner in life and I do have a partner. We’re figuring some things out, but I do wonder sometimes if I’m so focused on my career and I don’t let people in. It’s almost like, “Is there room for both?” I’m figuring out what that looks like. I want to say intellectually, yes, there could be both, but at my core, am I operating in that way? I’m not sure.

Does he say, “You don’t let me in?”

I’ve had many partners in the past that have all given me that feedback of like, “You’re pushing me away. You’ve always pushed me away.” We were engaged and we’ve decided to take a pause, let it breathe, and take some time. We’re in a great place where there are great communication and love, and I feel good about that.

Whose decision was it to break off the engagement?

I would say it was mutual. It was becoming toxic. Neither of us was happy. We were living together and it wasn’t working. I have moved out and it’s so much better. We’re both way happier. That’s where we’re at. It’s not like, “It’s over. We’re never talking again.” We’re just figuring it out.

I went to see the Titanic Exhibit and they showed the two staterooms side-by-side that had been recovered from the ship. The two first-class staterooms belonged to a couple. It’s the most expensive thing you could have possibly done in the day. These two people who were married were traveling together and had taken separate side-by-side accommodations. You want to talk about being together with being alone. It wasn’t even like, “We’ll just share because this is the most expensive thing we’ll ever do.” They were like, “We will still take two rooms.” They cared much about their privacy and about their separate experiences.

I read their bio information. They were married their whole lives, but they did live alone yet together. That’s not a modern way of doing things. There are people who are married but have been living separately for years. My parents say that they’re 55 years together is less because they’ve been living on separate continents for approximately 45 of those years. There are all kinds of different ways to do it. I’m not saying that you and this guy won’t be perfectly happy in exactly the state. It’s interesting that you talked about pushing a partner away and speaking about that in conjunction with the same stuff you were talking about with your mom.

Something came through. For me, because I was forced at such a young age to be independent and to have so much responsibility like, “She’ll figure it out.” I didn’t have that feeling of that mother looking out for me, so I had to look out for myself. Now, in my adult relationships, I’m still embodying that vibe like, “I got it figured out. I don’t need anyone. I’m independent.”

That was my question. You’re absolutely right on the money here. Let me understand this and ask a different question first. Did mom show you love regularly? Did she say I love you? Did she hug you or kiss you? Was she demonstrative of what I would call an expected love relationship with her daughter?

I would say verbally, she would easily say all of those things, but sometimes, the action didn’t feel that way. At the end of the day, I did know my needs would be met. I would have someone if I needed them, but it was also a lot of, “Figure it out. Fend for yourself,” tough love, you could say, kind of environment.

If that’s the way that you feel like, “I have to be in a relationship where I have to stay and maintain my independence,” is there a feeling that if you got married, for example, that you would be suffocated in some way?

Yes. I feel that. It’s overwhelming. I’ve had partners in the past. One, I dated for five years that wanted to get married. I loved him, but he wasn’t my person. There were other reasons why that wouldn’t have worked. Freedom is my number one core value. It’s like, “I need that. I want that.” I know you can have both, a beautiful thriving, abundant relationship, and your freedom and independence, but that is a place where I struggle of not feeling like my independence is going to be taken from me. I’m suffocated or put in a box.

I love to share this quote with people all the time. It is by Rainer Maria Rilke it’s, “Love consists in this, two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.” It’s beautiful. That’s not how most relationships show up. I was in a codependent relationship where I was crazy in love for the whole time, but it was a codependent relationship for most of my adult life. Now, the relationship that I’m in that I left him for is more of a relationship where I am a sovereign entity and she is also a sovereign entity, and that has been different for me.

That has taken a period of adjustment, but I feel like I am more living that Rilke quote than I have ever in my life because of being that sovereign entity. It is possible to find that. I feel like maybe if I weren’t as old as I am, I wouldn’t be living that because that’s another thing. People pass through stages of our lives before you get to the stage where you go, “This is what I want. I’m never settling for anything again. This is how it’s going to be.” You then find somebody else who’s like that and you’re compatible, and then you agree to it like, “Maybe it’s not like this with the class pans.”

The hands are being held or the fingers are being touched or something where you aren’t completely integrated. However, you are still connected in those important ways. It may be that you haven’t gotten to the maturity of your partners, even though you’ve gotten to that place for yourself, but it is possible to have both. I feel like the question for you though, are you being asked to do things that you don’t want to do like, “I do not want to get married? Would you be fine with being married as long as it was to somebody to whom you could, for example, keep separate suites on the cruise ship?” Not the Titanic. Not that cruise ship. Let’s go back to your mother. Let me ask, how was the relationship with her now?

I’ve kept my distance from her because we would do the small talk in the holidays like, “How are you?” I’m never letting her in because, through, even my adult life, there have been things that have been painful. We’re so different and I feel a lot of narcissism. I have no tolerance for it, so I would rather keep my distance. In early 2019, I was like, “I want to nourish my family relationships.” That’s something that I haven’t done and that’s important. They’re in my life for a reason, so I started to nourish that.

We had a big falling out and I feel like it was my fault where I have little things go that were hurtful and it build up. I would be like, “I’ll let it go. I’ll forgive and forget.” It was spiritual bypassing because I wasn’t dealing with it. Now, it was just a snapped and she was mad and upset and left. We haven’t talked about it. I talked to my therapist. I want to be able to talk about it, but I’m still processing and dealing with a lot of things so I don’t come at it from an angry place and an emotionally charged place because then, I don’t think she’d receive where I’m at.

You said something important that I want to make sure we make a distinction about, “Forgive and forget is an expression that the more I work with people, the more I feel like it does more damage than anything else.” Here’s why. Forgive and forget don’t belong together. You can forgive somebody completely. In fact, you must forgive them and you must forgive yourself. This old adage that sums it up perfectly is holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the rat to die.

Your mom may be the rat in this case, but you’re poisoning yourself by continuing to refuse to forgive her or for you. However, forgiving does not mean forgetting. When we forget, we would make the mistake and to learn the lesson again, and you don’t need that. You already learned the lesson and you will not forget it. I got finished working with a woman who was abused badly by her spouse for 25 years and she left the guy. When she came to me, she was almost catatonic with fear.

We worked together for about a month and at the end of the month, she said to me, “I feel like it’s a movie. I can see it. I know everything that happened, but I don’t have to live through it ever again.” She had a lot of what I would feel like are PTSD symptoms and she had recovered from all of those, but she could still see what had happened. She could now allow her body to calm. She wasn’t in fight or flight all the time. Her central nervous system could calm.

I feel like that’s what forgiving will do for you. Whereas not forgetting means you’ll see it like a movie for lack of a better analogy. We want to distance those two things and differentiate between them because it’s important that you forgive your mom. In fact, I’m going to walk you through a little exercise where you’ll have the opportunity if you’re ready and only if you’re ready to do that. Close your eyes.

This is the part where the show will be so much more interesting because we’re all going to have our eyes closed. It’s going to be boring for a little bit. Take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. I can see that your chest is rising and falling, so put your hands on your belly and focus on belly breathing, Ms. Yoga Instructor. I know you know what I mean, so that you can feel your belly going in and out.

Feel that you are expanding your belly on the intake of the breath, filling your lungs fully, and then whooshing it out through your mouth. Take a couple more of those deep belly breaths. I call them the breath of life because they expand all through your body, all that oxygen in yourselves. I want to invite you to see your mother in your mind’s eye. I’d like you to see her when you were a kid. How old were you when you had ten children in your care?

I would say probably eleven.

Let’s go to Cortney at eleven and see your mom. She’s still young and that’s younger than you are now, right?

Yes.

See her at that age and let’s bring her up in your mind’s eye. She’d like to give you a message from back when she was 29 from this vantage point. What is it that she wants to tell you? See her in your mind’s eye and let her speak to you and repeat to me what she’s saying.

She thinks she’s doing the best that she can.

What’s your mom’s name?

Lorraine.

Lorraine, do you love, Cortney? What’s she telling you?

Yes.

Lorraine, do you have the time to show Cortney that you love her? What’s she saying?

Are you referring to then or now, or it doesn’t matter?

I’m asking the 29-year-old Lorraine to talk to you. See her in your mind’s eye and tell me what she’s telling you.

I’m not getting a clear message.

I heard a clear one that time. She said, “Yes, I don’t have time to show her, but I can tell her.” Does that make sense to you?

Yeah, it does.

Look at her, the Lorraine, who is 29, how were her parenting tools? How were her relationship tools with her partner? How were her tools for loving herself? How good were those tools looking at her at 29?

From my perspective, she has good tools, but it’s almost like toxic positivity at times. I don’t know if that makes sense to you.

Like too much acting?

Yeah. No permission for anything other than a fake smile on her face or no allowance of real feelings or anything that wasn’t like, “Happy-go-lucky. Onto the next.”

Are those good tools after all?

Not great coping mechanisms probably. My stepdad, I felt like was much not a help. He’s negative, toxic, militant, and rigid you could say.

Why does Lorraine stay with him then if he’s all those things?

She wanted to be a mom and he wanted a wife and kids, and they got together. They have a super religious background, so there was a pressure of like, “You get married. That’s what you do, and then you stay together.” I don’t know that they could see it any other way because of that religious pressure.

Not good tools. The instruction, but not the guidance. Look at your mom at 29. Are you willing to forgive her for doing the best that she could, even though that wasn’t good?

Yeah.

I like to say everyone’s always doing their best. Sometimes, it just sucks. Do you feel like you can forgive her fully?

I do. I would love to have that experience, as you were saying with your other client of like, “It’s going to come up and I can watch it.”

Don’t worry about any of that. Stay in the moment. Stay where we are. When we get through to the other side of the work and it’s complete, it simply will be that way. If it isn’t complete, there will be another layer of the onion to go through, but we’re doing the work now, so let the work be. Don’t worry about the outcome. Are you willing to forgive her at that age for the way that she showed up and told you she loved you, but you didn’t necessarily feel that she loved you?

Yes.

See Cortney at eleven. Can you see her? Bring her up in your mind’s eye. Tell me one thing that she’s wearing.

I have this velvet turtleneck silver shirt on that I loved.

Sure it went beautifully with your blonde hair. Ask little Cortney what she needs.

Support.

What else does she need? I’m hearing help. Help and support, same stuff. Help is a little more desperate. What else does she say she needs?

Belonging.

Little Cortney, what could you do to make you feel like you belonged? What would you love to do that would make you feel like you belonged? Tell me what she’s telling you.

I’m not sure. I’m drawing a blank.

Do you see her?

Yes.

Let’s ask her. If she doesn’t tell you anything, that’s totally fine, but let her share with you. I can hear her fine now, so it’s good that she’s here.

I need to feel a sense of being a child and feel that childlike essence in freedom and play, and not a slave or the nanny or the pressure of having to do all the things, cleaning, homework, and diapers. That made me feel like I didn’t belong.

Little Cortney, I can hear you perfectly. Big Cortney, you’re getting a little bit caught up in the resentment of the situation then. What we’re looking to talk to is the part of Cortney that is still completely alive inside of you and needs you now. I have a question for you, big Cortney. Little Cortney would love to have a new mom who loved her completely, showed that love, connected with her all the time, and asked what she needed. When she heard what she needed, she could help her have that. Would you be willing to be little Cortney’s new mom?

Yeah.

That doesn’t feel the same as having children, does it?

It doesn’t feel the same. It feels good. It feels expansive and not suffocated.

Little Cortney said to me that she would like to be loved, feel like she was being loved, and paid attention to. Not paid attention to for the things that she did, but paid attention to for the things that she is. Do you see the difference there?

Yeah.

Little Cortney is going to tell you because you’re going to talk to her. Do you meditate every day?

Not every day.

When you meditate, you’re going to bring little Cortney into your lap to meditate with you. Do you do anything else to work out at the spiritual gym other than meditating?

My yoga practice and my journaling practice and for me, spending time in nature.

When you spend time in nature, will you spend time bringing little Cortney in? You can hold her hand and she can walk with you. She’s telling me she would absolutely love that, so she’s excited about that. It feels like she doesn’t want to be with you during your yoga practice. She doesn’t want to be a part of your yoga practice, but she wants to be a part of when you get out in nature and she wants cuddle time when you’re meditating, reading, and journaling. Bring her into your lap and snuggle her in your mind’s eye. She would love to come and sit with you. Your eyes are closed. She’s going to come and sit in your lap now. Can you feel that?

Yes.

Feel like you’re giving her a big soul hug. As you re-parent little Cortney, as big Cortney takes care of, pays attention to, deliberately calls little Cortney like, “Cortney, let’s go for a walk in the woods. Would you love that? Let me hold your hand while we walk into the woods. Would you like ice cream now? Let’s go do that,” or whatever the thing is that you can hear her say. Ask her what she needs because that thing that you said about, “I didn’t get to be a child,” I relate to it extremely. That’s the piece that the more you do those types of things with her like taking her out for ice cream or taking her for a walk in the woods or if you go for a bike ride. You see a set of swings and you go swing with her. That’s the stuff that makes her feel like she’s totally taken care of. Does that make sense?

Yes, and I love it. That feels good.

If this is all you do, that is enough. Little Cortney will always want to play and you will always, as her new mom, be able to take care of her and make her feel loved, nurtured, needed, and belonged. She’s sitting in your lap and now I invite you to bring your mom during the day that you had that fight. Let’s see Lorraine in your mind’s eye. Can you see her? What color is her hair?

Blonde.

Lorraine had some bad tools and some bad ways of being. She did love you as best as she could and she does love you. Look at Lorraine and tell me if you feel you will not forget what happened, but are you willing to forgive her for what happened?

Yes.

Tell her out loud.

Mom, I forgive you.

Is she receiving that?

Yes.

Lorraine, are you willing to ask forgiveness of Cortney? Tell me what she says.

Yes.

Tell me what she says she’s going to ask you for that forgiveness now out loud and repeat it out loud.

She’s just asking for forgiveness.

I’m hearing her say, “I am still doing my best.” Cortney, are you willing to forgive her now?

Yes, fully and completely.

You do not need to talk to her. You do not need to pick up the phone and call her after we are done together. You can if you want to, but you don’t have to. You can still continue to talk to her once every six months. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you have done the inner work to let go of the resentment and to free her from being in lockstep with that resentment as well. Is there anything that you feel that you need from Lorraine?

No.

Let’s let her go now. Thank you, Lorraine, for being here. Let’s let her go back to her life. I’d like you to bring out Cortney and see her that same day you had that fight. Can you see her?

Yes.

Let’s ask that Cortney what she needs and tell me what she says. Ask her now. It doesn’t matter what she needed that day or what you yelled at your mom or any of that. We’re asking her, “What do you need?” We’re seeing her at a particular moment in time that’s poignant for you. Does that make sense?

Yes, it does. Emotional support.

The theme from Cortney at eleven to Cortney at your current age is identical support. You’re big Cortney and she’s Cortney at that moment. What month has that happened with your mom?

January.

We’re going to call her Cortney Jan. We’re going to differentiate between you and that Cortney. Cortney Jan, you can now see that little Cortney is in big Cortney’s lap. Little Cortney is going to be nurtured, supported, emotionally taken care of, and even cuddled in a way that will change everything for Cortney going forward. Can you see that, Cortney Jan?

Yeah.

Is that enough for you to feel like you are emotionally supported?

I want to say yes, but I don’t know.

Remember, ask her. Don’t try to figure this out. You don’t have the answers. If you did, you wouldn’t even need to be here. You don’t have the answers. Cortney Jan has the answers. Let’s let her answer.

Can you repeat the question?

Cortney Jan, look at little Cortney with big Cortney. Is that going to give you the emotional support that you need?

No.

Why not? What are you hearing?

I’m getting like I need support around me, whether it’s a friend, a mentor, a teacher or a family member.

The word you didn’t use was partner. You do get emotional support from your partner when you let him in, but what was modeled for you is that there was no emotional support for your mother. She had all the trappings of, but no actual emotional support. Would you agree with that?

Yes.

The reason that it feels like you won’t let the partner in is that he won’t give you what you need, which is that emotional support, so why bother? He’s going to turn out to be not what you wanted in the first place like your stepfather turned out to be not what your mom wanted. Not to mention your own father at eighteen not being what your mom wanted. Are you willing to detach the modeling that you received from the way that you are?

Yes.

Are you willing to take out the energetic hooks of the old way of what your mom’s life was so that your life can be something bigger and better than what she had chosen for herself?

Yes.

Anywhere and everywhere that you have the belief or the story or the understanding that you need to get emotional support from somebody other than your partner and that your partner will fail you in giving you emotional support. Even if he tries, are you willing to unmake, undo, destroy, and uncreate and complete that?

Yes.

Across all time and space, lifetimes, and dimensions, we hereby destroy, uncreate, complete, remove, revoke, and rescind any vows, oaths, agreements, blood oaths, offerings, understandings, commitments, or contracts. Tons of gazillion good, bad, right, wrong, POD POC, all nine, shorts, boys, and beyond. Now let’s look at Cortney Jan. Ask her if she is willing to be fully supported going forward.

Yes.

I’m asking you, big Cortney, your support comes from spirit, God, and your core. You and Cortney Jan together, plus little Cortney, emotionally support each other to allow that independence. However, you will now, going forward, having disconnected this time. You will be able to allow your future self to walk a different path. It’s like, “Now, we were at a crossroads,” and you took a different path. Perhaps the road less traveled. Going forward, you will be able to welcome that partner in as a sovereign entity knowing that the person that loves you adds to you. It doesn’t take anything away from you. Does that make sense?

Yes.

Thank Cortney Jan for being here and take three deep breaths. As you do, come on back and open your eyes.

I feel an incredible lightness and overwhelming feelings. I’m not someone that is moved to tears often and it was like something broke loose in me.

You got the whole-body chills.

It feels clear. I didn’t know what to expect, but I try to come into everything without expectations. This exceeded all expectations that I didn’t even have, but thank you.

I don’t necessarily understand the work, but I know from having worked with enough people that going forward, you will begin to feel different. You will show up differently. You will find, for example, that you are going to be able to allow your partner in and you will continue to build on this if you continue to develop this work. We unlocked the lock. We’ve hung the door open.

It felt powerful when you made the analogy of energetic hooks. It was like, “I felt that.” It was these hooks, and then it felt like releasing that was so freeing. I’ve never heard it like that. That was a moment of transformation for me.

I’m so glad that you’re here and I’m grateful that you gave fully to this experience. It was so powerful because of that.

You’re so powerful. Thank you for sharing your time and your gifts with me, Halle. You are amazing.

Thank you.

Bye.