YGA 14 | Out Of The Closet

In this week’s episode I am chatting with my dear friend, Elizabeth Purvis, a master business coach and metaphysical teacher to thousands of women around the world.

Listen in as we share all about magic and the energy that powers it!

Magic is the language of creation, yet we often struggle with what feels of reach. We talk masculine and feminine energy and how to reclaim the feminine side of creation, while releasing the struggle.

Elizabeth also shares her insights about balance, how to achieve it in your life – how to get your inner goddess out of the closet.

Leave a comment and let me know if you are ready to release your inner Goddess!

Links & Resources: 

About Elizabeth Purvis

YGA 14 | Out Of The ClosetElizabeth Purvis is a master business coach and metaphysical teacher to thousands of women around the world. She is the creator of 7-Figure Goddess®, where her specialty is leading experienced coaches, healers, mentors and spiritual teachers to embody their Highest Level and scale their businesses on demand…. without webinars, launches, or sales calls.

Elizabeth combines her in-depth expertise of transformational coaching, digital marketing, and online entrepreneurship with her two decades of metaphysical practice to empower her clients to manifest their biggest, boldest money and lifestyle goals while delivering their soul-purpose work. Her client’s phenomenal, real world results are known and unparalleled in the industry. Many of them create substantial income breakthroughs in a few short weeks or months.

A priestess & practitioner of Western esoteric traditions for over 20 years and with over a decade online in the personal development industry, Elizabeth is a success mentor, certified Akashic Records Trainer (Souljourneys.ca), certified Master NLP Practitioner (NLP Marin) and initiate in the Ascended Mastery Lineage of Thoth (DivineTransmissions.com).
In another life, she was an engineer, and holds a Masters of Computer Science from New York University. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband, the artist Leland Purvis, and their daughter Brigit.

 

Full transcription of the show is below:

I have with me one of my dearest friends, the amazing Elizabeth Purvis. Elizabeth and I met a number of years ago because we were on a coaching program together. She was one of the first people that I thought of for this show because we talk about the masculine and the feminine, what it means to be a woman in a man’s world, and all those things. Pretty much all the time in everything that we discuss. I thought I’d bring her on here to talk about all of that.

It’s great being here and sharing space with you. Yes, you are definitely one of my dearest friends.

Thank you. I couldn’t be happier to have you here. When it comes to the sacred divine masculine and feminine, I have learned a lot from you about it because I have learned new words. I used to get scared about the word feminine and you’ve been using that word for many years. Tell me about that.

For those who don’t know me, my name is Elizabeth Purvis. I have been in this online coaching space for a long time. I’m a business coach but I also am a metaphysical teacher. I initially got into this from the place and the perspective of wanting to teach magic. For me, business is the avenue through which I do that. I often say in our company, seven-figure goddess, so I claim the goddess style, but not that it’s a title. I claim that in her name and I’ve used words like feminine and goddess for all these years.

When I leaned into that number of years ago and received the download that my mission in the world is to bring magic to the mainstream, I also had dropped in this idea of a feminine magician. It’s a term that has always come back to me. I remember in 2009, when I still lived in Brooklyn, the term came to me for the first time. I’ve always been interested in it. We have the trademark Feminine Magic and we use that name in certain things. Many times, I may not be transparent. I’ve asked myself because, in a way, there is no such thing as a feminine magician. I’m like, “Maybe I should drop it,” or whatever.

One of the reasons why I hold on to that word, especially in that context, is because I’m interested in bringing in feminine and masculine polarity, and how those two energies play out together. We can talk about the feminine but we can’t talk about the feminine without the masculine there, too. That’s always appealed to me. When I use terms like feminine, they’re often in a context that has a lot of masculine energy. Part of my use of that term in these more masculine energies is to bring those two energies together. At the same time, I’m loving and embracing the feminine.

I love being a woman and I love feminine energy. Like many women, it’s been a journey for me to embrace the feminine fully. I remember feeling the too masculine conflict when I was young and yet, at the same time, feeling a tremendous amount of feminine energy in me. It’s a fun polarity to play with and it’s also wonderful to lean into feminine energy in a big way. I don’t know if that answered your question, but those are my initial thoughts.

All that stuff is super helpful. I ran my first business when I was in my early twenties. I was in the software business because that’s what you do. You go from being an actress to running an interactive film company. I always say I was 1 of 5 female executives in the entire industry. This has come up so much since I’ve started this show and being on the show because I talk about this all the time. I got to this place where it was like, “I’m one of the boys. I can do anything they can do.” There was never a moment where I went, “I don’t have to. I can do this my way.”

It was always like, “How can you manipulate the men to make them think this thing is their idea when it isn’t? How can you manipulate the men to make them think that you’re going along with them? How can you come up with an idea of your own that won’t make men think badly of you or less of you or that will shine your light too bright and make them uncomfortable?” None of those things feel like they’re particularly healthy ways to get an inspiration, which is the feminine, and then execute it, which is the masculine. You came from a completely different background than I did. Did you have that kind of issue for you? Talk a little bit about your background for people.

We can't talk about the feminine without the masculine there, too. Click To Tweet

I think of many creative generative women because you and I are entrepreneurs, we are creators. The whole energy of creation has a masculine-feminine side, but it leans a little more toward the masculine side and the execution part of it. When we think of creating and manifesting, there’s a lot of masculine there. Masculine ways of doing things versus feminine, where it played with for a long time. My background is in computer science. I was an engineer for many years.

I know all about the whole inner conflict of, “I don’t like women. I’m not comfortable around women and I want to be in this men’s environment.” I was in a men’s environment for many years. For me, I was more comfortable there for a long time because there’s a part of me that was comfortable, the reason, logic, and all of that. One of the reasons why I ultimately left it is because I didn’t want to stay in that anymore if that makes sense.

When I did leave it and go out on my own, I remember thinking to myself, I feel grateful that I have that energy. I was able to work with the guys and to have the immersion into masculine spaces. I wasn’t leaving in that like, “I’ve had XYZ happened to me and it’s been terrible,” which I know a lot of women have. A lot of women struggle in real masculine corporate environments, for lack of a better word, or corporate environments with lots of men, is what I mean.

I didn’t have that experience so much but I was looking for more. Being in that masculine energy environment not just the people that were around me but the actual work itself. Both helped me develop that energy in myself but also inspired me to a certain point to take it and bring it into another context and bring the feminine aspect of myself back, if that makes sense. Hopefully, that answers your question.

I’m reminded of something that has happened to me when I was running HyperBole Studios, which was our software business. We had a deadline that happened certainly so often in those days, but I don’t know about now. In those days, they would be like, “We need to have this up for Christmas, which means it needs to be out by October, which means sorry that it’s March, but you have to cram two years’ worth of work into the next eight months or whatever.” We had this ridiculous deadline and it was obvious that we were going to miss it, and we told them we were going to miss it.

We were working with a company where the owner of the company, his name was Paul Jan, was an Indian man and he was a son of a gun. You know I don’t like to curse but no question. He made everybody around miserable. We got on a plane, we’d flown into San Jose, and we were meeting with him. He was nice, charming, and he complimented my dress or whatever, and then he turned around and started screaming at me, not at my partner, who was my beloved as well.

We ran our businesses together for so long. I knew at that moment, all he wanted was to make me cry in front of a room full of people that there was a power thing going on for him. Of course, I wanted to crawl under the table, burst into tears, curl up into a fetal position, and come out at 10:00 at night when everyone had gone home. Instead, I remember saying, “I will not cry. He will not break me in front of all these people.” That is toxic.

It was very different from the environment. We were up in Seattle all granola-y with grunge movement happening in a creative environment and that kind of toxic energy didn’t exist because we were the ones running the business. It exists in a different way. We had terrible time management capabilities and it took me years of self-recovery there. That power play was unknown. Eventually, he was taken down by a reporter from the San Jose chronicle or something who got mad at the way he was treated.

YGA 14 | Out Of The Closet

Out Of The Closet: Both energies are powerful, useful, necessary for creation, and all of the things. A healthy way to use polarity is to be with both and be fluid with either one, whatever you’re choosing at the time.

 

He went and found out the guy had been cooking the books and paying for his mistress on company business. He went down and the company went down and everything. You got to see karma showing up. It was interesting because that thing can ruin the next twenty years of your life or whatever. Yet, there are different ways of approaching everything so that everything can be reframed or more positive. You and I play in that world all the time. Has anything like that ever happened to you?

You’d think that in my engineering background, I would have had possibly a lot of that. This was also in the late ‘90s, early aughts. I got my Master’s in 1998 and I started working in engineering in 1995, and then ended up leaving at the beginning of 2007. I was fortunate. It was in New York in the digital alley in the naissance of the dot-com or whatever. It lived through the crash and all that kind of stuff. The men I was around weren’t super toxic at all.

The thing that was toxic to me, especially as a squishy empath, is all the energy they were running. There was one guy in particular I remember and I had a bit of a crush on him because he was super cute but he was also neurotic. He was the CTO of one of the companies I worked for and he was always running around. I remember him running into a meeting with us one time and saying to us, “The entire internet is down,” which of course, the internet is designed to not go down. That was more toxic, so to speak. The constant barrage of energy and the constant intensity of it. I’m freaking smart and yet was talented. It feels weird to say that. One of the reasons why I left that job is because I felt stupid all the time. I knew that it was an illusion.

Everyone here in the coaching industry knows I have the real systematic and linear approach and stuff, but I wasn’t great at troubleshooting and applying that in the computer science context. I would struggle to figure things out. All the guys seemed, how I was interpreting it was smarter than me. No one would ever rub it in my face. We’re all a bunch of nerds, too. We had nerd rapport. I didn’t have a ton of toxic energy, but I couldn’t hold my own in it. I’m like, “I can’t deal with this. I’m out. This is too much.”

That happens to women a lot because there isn’t usually the kind of environment where there’s somebody there saying, “You’re doing good.” I work from home. It’s all completely remote. Other than my house manager and my housekeeper, who comes in once a week, I’m not interacting with my team physically. That also can be isolating for people because you don’t have somebody saying, “You did a great job in the meeting because you got done with a Zoom phone call, you hung up, and you went on to the next thing.” Let’s talk a little bit about what women can do to give themselves that grace because they are not going to inform anybody else.

I haven’t thought about any of this in a while like those days. I knew I wasn’t stupid. Even if I felt that way, the evidence was to the contrary, but I’m like, “I can’t handle feeling like this. This is not good for me.” One of the things I did was I was looking out for myself. I was my own advocate in there, if that makes sense. I was in tune. This is something we all can do and we can choose to do. Be in reality about what is working and what isn’t working and be clear about what we want. Say yes or no based on what it is that we want and what it is that we’re choosing.

I was like, “I’m not available to feel stupid anymore. I’m not available to feel like I’m not doing a good job.” I knew that engineering wasn’t my forever calling. It was easy for me to be like, “Now, I’m going to go do the real thing,” kind of thing. If it had been my real calling, I still would have said to myself, “I’m not available for this anymore.” As a woman, how can I make the choice that I’m going to make and insist that it be so?

That’s something that throughout all ages and stages no matter where we get to do, especially women. This is true for men, too. There are all sorts of opportunities for us to buy into the various illusions. I could have bought into all kinds of illusions that came out of this feeling stupid and I didn’t. I was like, “No, the reality is XYZ and here’s how I’m choosing to move forward and be proud of who I am.” In this case, take my skills and talents and apply them in a different way.

Be clear about what you want. Say yes or no based on what it is that you want and what it is that you’re choosing. Click To Tweet

You talk about the feminine magician. I’m thinking about the feminine magician as the woman who says, “I’m done. I’m not available anymore for this thing to be this way. Now, I’m going to claim this new path for myself.” That may not feel like magic to a lot of women. That energetic shift may not feel like enough, but it is enough. My point is what you’re talking about is creating magic, but you’re doing it subtly. One of the things that I’m learning is that spirit is inviting us. For those of you that don’t know, spirit is my favorite word for god or goddess. Please feel free to substitute your own.

That spirit is subtle and much more subtle than I’ve ever given a credit for. I’m learning now how subtle the nudges are of magic creation and how subtle the invitation is to move one degree to the left or one degree to the right, and then that’s where the magic is happening. I feel like when you talk about the idea of feminine magic, you’re talking about that space where you realize it isn’t all like abracadabra and smoke and mirrors to create an illusion, which is what magicians supposedly do. It’s about legit magic. Abracadabra means, from the Aramaic, I create as I speak.

I love that abracadabra.

I love it, too. It sounds like in Harry Potter, Avada Kedavra, but not in a bad way. JK Rowling appropriated it as the death curse, the killing curse, but it’s a magnificent thing because creating as you speak and the ability to create with your words and intentions. The creative force is the feminine. It belongs to the feminine to create. I feel like that belongs to the realm of the feminine, so that’s another magical thing that we get to have.

The thing I loved about and still do about the term feminine magic and feminine magician is the tension there and the idea of creating from a more feminine standpoint while still having these energies be in balance and in play. A big part of what we do in Feminine Magic is I’ve systematized beingness in a way that calls things in predictably. It’s the bringing of these two pieces together because what we call male energy is a driven executing outward and feminine is inward. Both of those things come together, but it’s the inwardness and the beingness that activates it all. That’s a big piece of it for me. Creation in general and feminine creation in particular.

I certainly am hearing all the time from women that desire to balance the masculine and feminine inside of themselves. I was working with a channeled group and the message that came through was it isn’t a 50/50 thing of like 50% masculine and 50% feminine. It’s 100/100 and showing up fully in both spaces at the same time. I love that so much. If that’s the case, if the objective is not to have a set of scales inside of me where I’m creating 50/50 and can I get them exactly balanced. Instead, the intention is can I get this marriage where it’s fully 100% and 100% inside of me. What are some things that come to mind for you, if anything, for how women can help to create that?

This is speaking from my experience. I definitely struggled with the whole too masculine and too feminine thing, and a lot of women do. I’ve noticed a lot of women get hyper like, “I’m too masculine and there’s a problem.” That’s something I’ve noticed, especially in the coaching industry, that to me is a little bit of a knock it off. There are all these whole balancing feminine-masculine polarities and I got hung up on that. I thought, “I’m too this. I’m too that. I’m not enough of this. I’m not enough that.”

It’s where it all went for me back in those days as I was even approaching the question. I had a conversation with someone we both know and I realized I was still getting caught up in this like, “I’m too masculine.” She was like, “Elizabeth, I’ve been in your world. I’ve been one of your clients for years. You’re one of the most balanced people I know.” You’re good at spotting stories and then getting them out. I noticed how attached I was to this story of like, “I’m too this and I’m too that. I’m imbalanced.”

YGA 14 | Out Of The Closet

Out Of The Closet: Lean into both energies. You can identify however you choose to and be able to tap into both.

 

This is why I love the 100/100. I have to bring the balance back somehow. For me, it became about, “I get to acknowledge what’s already there.” I’ve got a lot of “masculine qualities” when we talk about masculine energy and systematizing, but I also have a tremendous amount of feminine qualities. That’s true of all of us. Over the years, I’ve been like, “I’m getting the too masculine thing again.” My husband would laugh his head off. Every once in a while, I’ll be like, I got-so-and so commented too masculine, or whatever, and he’ll look at me, start laughing, and then walk away.

All this is to say is that here’s someone outside of me who’s able to reflect that back. If we look at this whole thing objectively, the out-of-balance isn’t as much as we think. For myself, I was totally discounting this thing that was already there. One of the things we say in Feminine Magic all the time is it’s easier to manifest from a place of having and not having. The cool part is you have 100% of the time. Everyone who’s in the I’m too this or too that conversation, part of what we’re doing is we’re becoming blind to what’s already there. In the same way, you’re like, “It’s not a balance. It’s 100% both.”

Instead of being like, “I’m all the way over here on this side of the polarity,” you’ve got this opposite energy activated and running if you choose to notice it and see it. That was a huge thing for me because I would just be sitting there going, “I’m too masculine.” I’m not like, “Brought that back.” I had not got in reality about it and I feel like this whole masculine-feminine conversation can become one of those things that women use to tear themselves down. You’re already not enough in the not-enoughness so let’s add not feminine enough on top of it.

Back when my girlfriend and I first got together, I struggled for a year with, “Am I now a lesbian? Am I not a lesbian?” I’ve been with a guy for many years. Finally, I went, “I’m just a person and the thing that’s wrong is the label.” That was a big a-ha for me. It’s funny because I want different words for masculine and feminine. The words that I say that help women are to stop calling it that and stop labeling because of the gender or sexual implication. Take your pick.

Either implication of that this has to do with your body parts, your sex drive, or your whatever has nothing to do with it. If we switch it over to the concept of creative, receiving, allowing energy versus doing, systematizing, and functioning energy, and then you understand we got to have both in order to do anything. It’s like, “I want to meditate but, in the cave, and then the bag of money is going to fall in my head.” No, you have to meditate, which is the inner knowing and receiving, and then you got to go out into the world and execute if you want the bag of money. Both pieces have to be present. Going back to what you said, the label is the problem and not necessarily even the balancing.

If we walk through the world as we are, we would give ourselves permission to show up fully every day. I worked with a client one time and I said, “If you could wave a magic wand and fix one thing, what would that be?” She was like, “I would be more authentically myself.” In the story, she was telling me her family wouldn’t let her be. I was like, “What do you mean let you? Isn’t it your choice still?” We do that to ourselves all the time. We’re constantly saying, “I can be this way but only for this person. I can be this way but only in this context. I can’t show up as me, be me fully, and not worry about it all the time.”

Those masculine-feminine labels, same dealio. We’re telling ourselves those stories about, “It has to be like this. It has to be like this. I don’t want any of those things.” What if you allowed yourself to enjoy your life more? You weren’t at that metacognition level where you’re outside going, “Let me point out to you what you did wrong about this. Let me point out to you how you need to be more masculine or more feminine here.” This is helping me, too, so I’m grateful. Thank you.

It’s something I’ve thought about. It’s part of the whole thing. I also want to acknowledge that the whole masculine-feminine polarity balance, etc., is a big deal for a lot of women. There’s a lot of wounding, trauma, unpacking, and all the things. I don’t want to discount or diminish any of that or anyone’s experience in any way. I find that the best way to integrate things and to call things into being is to notice and focus on what’s already there.

One of my hopes about this whole conversation is that we can raise women who can feel comfortable with both energies however they choose to express them. We didn’t even talk about binary and non-binary, gender identity, and all of that, which, of course, plays a huge role. I feel so much of this is about becoming at peace with whatever one is choosing and having access to both of those energies whenever we choose.

It's easier to manifest from a place of having than not having. The cool part is you have 100% of the time. Click To Tweet

In Feminine Magic, that’s a big piece of what goes into it for me because both energies are powerful, useful, necessary for creation, and all of the things. One of the healthy ways to use polarity is to be able to be with both and be fluid with either one, whatever you’re choosing at the time. That’s where I hope we can get and to be in a place with the whole feminine and masculine conversation in the women’s empowerment community, especially which is who we’re speaking to, your audience.

It sounds like if we do what you said that there will be a natural progression toward non-binary as a human race because we’ll recognize that it’s humans, not man or woman. If what you said is the way we go, it would eliminate conversations about homosexuality, heterosexuality, or transgender. We wouldn’t need to talk about it. People would be who they were as they chose to be. If they felt like being something different that day, year, month, lifetime, or whatever, that would be okay, too. It would allow everyone a lot more freedom and a lot more choice to be who they feel like being, whatever that looks like.

I want to be clear because when I say that, I don’t mean to be like, “Eliminate gender.” I identify as a woman. I love identifying as a woman and yet, I want for people to be able to lean into these energies and identify however they choose to and be able to tap into both. In terms of energetic imprints. In our work, a lot of it is like, “This is the energy of this and this is the energy of this. Masculine and feminine are both powerful energies.” It’s like, “Can we acknowledge that we each have both? Can we acknowledge that we are human and we have our power of choice as a human? Can we be comfortable with either one, as we choose, acknowledge and see the differences in both, and also honor the differences in the choices of everybody else?” Be able to move about the cabin in that way. That’s accepting, nurturing, and honoring. Since we’re doing it, we’re healing a lot of the bolt’s shizzle in many years.

Thank you for coming here, being with me, having this conversation with everyone, for continuing to show up in the world the way that you do, and continuing to help Feminine Magic permeate throughout the universe. This is marvelous. Thank you.

Thank you for having me. This has been fun. I haven’t had this conversation on a show in a while.

We won’t bore people then.

Thank you, everyone, for who’s been here reading. I know it’s always an honor to receive time, energy, and attention from audiences like yours. Thank you to all of you who are reading and for sharing space with us as well.

This has been another episode of Your Goddess Awakened. Tell your friends and the people that you know you need to see this and enjoy it. Until next time, blessings.