YGA 12 | Trauma Clearing

The past may be beyond our control and cannot be overwritten, but the lessons it left behind can be truly useful in empowering yourself today. In today’s episode I am joined by Selma Blunk for a trauma clearing session full of emotional realizations.

Listen to the podcast here:

Watch as I guide Selma on unleashing her better self by setting a strong foundation, setting a healthy morning routine, and discarding useless habits in favor of beneficial ones. We also dive deep into Selma’s most traumatic childhood moments, dissecting her most painful questions and longing for love, elevating herself to achieve a more powerful soul.

If you’d like to be considered to do trauma clearing for a future episode, please click here.

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About Selma Blunk

YGA 12 | Trauma ClearingSelma’s true passion is to help and support women in overcoming the limiting beliefs of their past. She is currently in the process of opening her own heart-centered women and relationship integrated coaching business. By empowering women to speak their truth, Selma leads them to honor themselves and discover their inner strengths, thus enabling them to advocate for themselves. As a Woman Speak Circle Leader, Selma creates a safe haven for women to step into their power and discover their voices while feeling the freedom of self-expression.  Imagine you stepping into being the change you want to see in the world and it being a better place because you shared your voice, vision, and wisdom. Come discover your wings with Selma. Learn to fly in a community that holds a sacred space for all women, worldwide. Join Selma Circle for an introductory event and consider joining her virtual circle!  Selma is a Reiki, NLP and Hypnotherapy Practitioner.  She would love to hear from you to discover all the wonderful ways this circle can empower and inspire you.   Selma is also Bilingual in Spanish.  Feel free to message Selma directly.

Full transcription of the show is below:

This is one of our trauma clearing episodes. With me, I have the beautiful Selma Blunk. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. I’m honored. I’m certainly hoping we can help you. To that end, I would love to hear what it is that if in the next hour you could wave a magic wand and change your life, what would you shift?

I would love to shift feeling confident and capable of expressing myself freely in all aspects of my life, meaning personal, creating my business, with family, and keeping my word to myself with commitments.

Just a quick reminder before we move forward that it is our commitments to ourselves that everything else stems from. You have to have a strong foundation to your house in order to build the walls and to have a lovely roof otherwise, everything collapses. It’s the same thing for our commitments. When we don’t keep commitments to ourselves, it’s like saying I have a shaky foundation because that’s that internal scaffolding that you’re building so that you can build the nice strong walls on top of it. I work with clients all the time who will say like, “I’m really great about everything, except I have money problems.” “How are your money commitments?” “I hide my head under the covers for a month. Once a month, I take my head out from under the covers, pay the bills, and stick my head back under the covers.” No wonder you have money problems because you’ve got that shaky foundation. By the same token, I feel like we’re going to find that when you shore up your commitments to yourself, that will help you find your voice in other regards. I’m already excited because I feel like we found a clue. You may see me looking down occasionally, but because this is an actual session, sometimes I need notes about stuff. That’s something I’m going to be putting in my trusting notebook here. Let’s start there really quickly. Give me an example of a commitment that you haven’t kept to yourself.

I told myself that I’d be waking up at 5:00 in the morning to meditate and do my walk.

What happens if you don’t get up at 5:00 in the morning? What would happen if you got up at 8:00, meditated, and did your walk? Why does it have to be 5:00 AM?

Because I already have something in place at 7:00 AM and then my day starts. I have the intention of doing the schoolwork and studying but my day goes all over the place. At the end of the day, I didn’t do the few things that if I get up at 5:00, I know that those, too. There are no excuses. I just got to get up at 5:00. I did it for a while and then I got comfortable, tired, and started moving things around. I’m not feeling successful in that at all.

This is the strong foundation stuff that we were talking about. Without the strong foundation, you don’t have the ability to feel like you can move through, so it torpedoes your whole day because you’re like, “I didn’t do this.” There’s a famous military gentleman, I think it’s a Colonel but I’m not 100% sure. He wrote a book where the basic tenet of the book is, “Make your bed every morning because then you’ll have done one thing that you have control over and it will snowball into the rest of your day.” I loved that because what he was saying was, do the thing that you have the control over so that you will feel like you’re in control. You will continue to feel like you’re in control as you go through your day and have other little things that are in your control will begin to give you the gift of, “I have control over my life.” That is a big energetic shift as well. Mel Robbins, no relation to Tony, has the principle of giving the 5 Second Rule. If you don’t want to do something, you say 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and then you do it. You give yourself five seconds to shift into that thing. No excuses, you have to do it. Maybe the 5 Second Rule will be useful to you. Let’s talk about, “It has to be 5:00 in the morning.” The reason I asked about 8:00 is that a lot of times we have these rules that we create for ourselves but they’re not useful and accurate. We self-sabotage. I was just checking to see if that self-sabotage was there. Let’s go back into the idea of you getting up at 5:00 in the morning. What happens? Do you set your alarm for 5:00 or you don’t even set your alarm?

I used to set the alarm at 4:45 and I’d be up, just get it done. By 8:00 in the morning, I’ve done my workout, my meditation, and I’m ready to start my call that I do with a friend of mine. We’re getting through a class together. Every day, that’s a commitment at 7 AM that I’m on the phone with her. By 8:00 in the morning, I feel like I’ve already done so much. Even if the day gets away from me, I’ve already done the biggest things.

We’re not going to spend the whole time on this, although we absolutely could, because time management is such a huge thing. The important thing is to get down underneath of why that’s not working. What I’m wondering is, for example, at the end, I’m working out an hour a day right now, but I do not do an hour a day every day in an hour chunk. Some days I do fifteen minutes, four times. Some days I do 30 minutes, 30 minutes. Some days I do an hour. It depends on what it is that I want to do. I have two commitments to myself physically. One is to use a particular app that I love called Madbarz. That’s basically isometric exercises, and the other one is to get the rest of my exercise through yoga and walking. I’m doing all of those things, but I’m not necessarily doing them in the same order at the same time every day. What if you have the commitment to do it, no matter how late you stayed up at night as well? I have found myself walking at 11:30 at night because I didn’t do it before then, and I’m keeping my commitments to myself. Would it be okay with you? What’s happening right now is at 5:00 in the morning, if you’re not out of bed, and at 7:00 in the morning, if you’re not complete with those things, you are a failure for the rest of your day like you decided. By the way, it is the decision that you’re a failure. That’s the problem, not you being a failure. You’re not. More importantly, you’re a human being, not a human doing. We tend to confuse those things. We think that if we’re not doing it all the time and accomplishing the things that we need to accomplish that we set for ourselves, which by the way, our goals that we’re failing. Did somebody come in and say, “Selma, you won’t get paid if you don’t get up at 5:00 in the morning and work out by 7:00?” No, you just said, “I want to do this.” Now you’re sure you’re failing yourself because you’re not doing it or you’re not doing it consistently. First and foremost, it’s the story that we’re not doing enough or good enough. We want to get away from the story that says we should do something and we’re not doing it, therefore making ourselves bad or wrong. That’s where the biggest part of this problem comes in. Could you commit to yourself that before you go to sleep every night, all of it will be done? Yes. You’re welcome to get up at 5:00 every morning or 4:45. By the way, what time did you go to sleep every night to get up at 4:45 every morning?

I was going to bed around 9:00 or 9:30.

Now, what time are you going to bed?

10:30 or 11:00.

If you want to be able to get up at 5:00 in the morning, try shifting your bedtime. There’s an answer to everything. It’s just, what do we want? I sound like a fitness nut but trust me, I’m not. I was doing a program called 75 Hard, where among other things, I didn’t drink alcohol for 75 days. I was drinking a gallon of water, and I suddenly needed less sleep than I’ve ever needed in my life. If I got more than six hours, it was a good day and I didn’t need it. Whereas normally I’m like nine hours and I’m happy camper. You are not necessarily in a situation where you aren’t getting enough sleep. Maybe it’s just you’re not getting the right sleep or there are other habits like if you’re having half a bottle of wine before you go to sleep at night. I’m not saying you are but I’m saying those are things that sabotage us, interfere with our sleep, we don’t even realize it, and it’s hard to wake up the next morning. You want to do a little bit of an audit about what you’re doing. The important thing, the takeaway here, is don’t make yourself wrong because you set the intentions so that you could be healthy every day. Set the intentions that you’re healthy every day, make healthy choices every day, and then you don’t have to beat yourself up because, “I didn’t meditate now or I only got to my work out every other day or whatever.” Does that make sense? Yes. One of the things I discovered in 75 Hard about keeping that strong foundation is I thrive on structure more than I realized. 75 Hard has almost like a bootcamp structure to it. For 75 days, I was like, “Let’s do this.” Not even for the first three days like I was expecting. Do you thrive on structure? Do you know that about yourself?

Structure and accountability are a lot better for me.

It’s perfectly fine for you to keep getting up at 5:00 in the morning setting the intention that you’re going to do the work and being accountable to another person. The only piece of it that isn’t fine is making yourself wrong when you don’t do it. That’s the piece that will never support you. We’re going to go back way down the rabbit hole because I’m guessing this is something that has come up for you since you were a kid. Would you agree? Yes. Tell me about when you were a kid. What would have happened if you weren’t accountable for something, you screwed up in some way, or didn’t do something on a timeframe that you were supposed to? What would happen under those circumstances?

I feel that’s a sidebar looking at it because we started with me being able to express myself and stuff. I think it’s like me without that self-talk of, “See, you can’t do it.” It’s a behavior that’s an offset of my voice isn’t heard, and even I don’t hear myself. I’m telling myself I’m going to do this and then I don’t listen to myself. When I was a child, my mom wasn’t available emotionally to me. I got in a lot of trouble for not doing my homework because I struggled with learning. I don’t know that I struggled with learning or if it was my way of getting attention. Bad attention was better than none. Although I was born here, my parents spoke Spanish at home, so I had to go to English as a second language. I was different than the other kids. I did that for 2 or 3 years. My parents got divorced. My dad left and my mom told me it was my fault.

What? Our parents have such bad tools. I like to say everyone is always doing their best. It’s just sometimes that sucks. That’s one of those examples. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Have you reconciled with her to the point where you’ve forgiven her for that and you know that’s not true?

I spoke to her about it because when my dad was leaving, she looked at me and said, “He’s leaving because you used to turn on the heating blanket.” I think I was very jealous of my brother, so I was looking for attention in any way I could get it at home. I was very mischievous, but I was a good kid. I used to turn on the electric blanket on their beds every night. I remember that very clearly. I thought it was so funny. When he left, she said, “He’s leaving because you always turn on the electric blanket at night. When we get in bed, it’s hot.” That’s how she said. From that point forward, I’ve always tried not to be the person who gets in trouble. I don’t want to be the creator of anybody else’s issues. I don’t get into conflict of situations. It’s been difficult for me to express myself. I have been stepping into expressing myself more. It’s very uncomfortable and scary. I don’t always have the words to know how to do that.

If it makes you feel any better, you articulated all of that beautifully. I feel like trusting yourself is a process. You’re working out at a new gym and this is the gym of your trust. It’s hard to get into that space where you feel like, “I can just talk and I can express myself perfectly,” because however old you are, you’ve spent the bulk of your life feeling like you couldn’t express yourself, you didn’t deserve to express yourself, you weren’t allowed to, and dire consequences would occur if you did. It wasn’t verbally the thing with the blanket, but I take it that was the end of your mischievous tendencies. You stopped because you felt no at that time you didn’t stop?

No. In high school, I did a lot of stuff to get in trouble because I was already getting in trouble. My mom felt like picking my brother because now, it was my mom, my brother, and me. I couldn’t get her to love me or acknowledge me, so I ended up always doing things. I was grounded every week. Even if I didn’t do anything, I was in trouble. I gave up on stuff because I was constantly in trouble and getting hit. She used to hit me because she would be drunk. I didn’t know how to get her love. I was a good kid. I wasn’t doing drugs. I wasn’t smoking. I wasn’t stealing, I was doing stupid stuff like getting kicked out of the library for bothering people or locking the teacher out of the classroom. I’m getting kicked out of school for that. I wasn’t sleeping around. I wasn’t doing anything really bad. I’m still looking for her acceptance and I still can’t. I’m learning not to have any expectancy of her and keeping her at a distance because my brother is living off of her and it’s in my face even to this day. It’s not being good enough to get her love. I don’t love myself. It really hurts. I’m sorry.

Don’t apologize. I’d be surprised if you weren’t crying. Take a minute. Don’t even worry about it.

It’s so deep in the closet because I don’t like to look at it. I’ve tried to accept it. When I did get in there, it’s hard that she might die one day and I will have had to figure out how to be an acceptance of it all, which I guess is okay. I’m not there yet.

You’re going to have to figure that out anyway, whether she dies someday or tomorrow.

I gave her a ham. She freaking calls me and says, “Can I take the ham back to Costco? It’s too big.” It’s like, “Are you freaking kidding me?” This was right after Christmas day. I had a bunch of other problems going on. That was such a big dig that everything else that was going on during that time was so overwhelming because my foundation was so shaken. You’re right. I never thought about it like that.

I like to say we meditate fifteen minutes a day to keep away the crazy, the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of our day. It really does make a big difference to have that strong foundation. I want you to promise me that you’re going to dive into getting whether it’s the 5 AM routine or another routine, but getting a routine that supports you so that you can feel resilient, because right now you’re not resilient. It was a ham and if she wanted to take it back because she didn’t want to waste it because it was too big, who cares? If she had called me up and said, “I want to take your ham back.” I would have been like, “Do you want me to come pick it up or should I just give you the receipt?” Elizabeth Gilbert said, I can’t take credit for this line because it was so brilliant, “Our parents know exactly how to push our buttons because they installed them.” That’s it. It wouldn’t bother me a bit if your mom could have six hams or no hams. Who cares? She pushed your button hard. It’s as absurd as the ham is. That’s the way that it works until the day that it doesn’t. Now is your day. Congratulations because we’re going to reprogram you to not be triggered by mom. We’re going to do that by energetically separating you and your mother out. I want to say that we’re in symbiotic relationships with our parents, especially mom. She grows you in her stomach. That is a big deal. That is really a big gift. She either let somebody cut her open or she squeezes you out through a very tiny hole. It has to fit your very much larger head, screaming all the while so that you can come into the world. It’s a big honking gift. Many parents have that attitude afterwards of, “I brought you into this world and I can take you back out.” OC’s is going to be permanent. I have seen plenty of women in their adulthood and older than you still stuck in that exact same relationship of, “I’ve got a child, mom loop going, and I can never get out of it.” It’s important that you recognize that you’re the only one that can free yourself from the cycle. Your mother can’t because she wants to be able to call you up and poke you about your Christmas ham. That’s going to give her energy because she’s busy running the negative energy routines. Up until now, there’s been this energy exchange between the two of you of negative energy and negative energy because of the habits that you both set up. We got to break that in order for you to be free. Your mother, by the way, will continue to show up exactly the way that she has been showing up, which is no longer going to be any of your business. What other people think about me is none of my business and that’s going to be true of mom also. However, you will get a chance to see her energy shift, because as I said before, it was a symbiotic energy exchange. That symbiotic energy exchange is going to have shifted. Once she senses the shift, she’ll start poking you even harder. “You’re going to be poked in your Christmas ham a lot, young lady.” Only when you don’t respond to that, she will then try new methods and eventually go a different way. That energy will go to somebody else, maybe to your brother, because he lives with her. That energy will morph into a new way of you two being together. Why does it work that way? I don’t really know. I know that it works that way because after hundreds of clients, I’ve seen over and over again that once we break the energy pattern, it breaks everything and a new energy pattern conform. At first, all that’s going to happen is you’ll have relief because when she calls you up and pokes you in your Christmas ham, you’ll see it for what it is, which is absurd. As absurd as telling you that it was your fault that your father was leaving over that blanket. We’re going to go back to that situation, that moment, because it was a catalyst for you. We’re going to go back there first. I want you to close your eyes.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I see everything when it happened in the patio.

We’re going to go back there right now. I want you to close your eyes, so you don’t even have the interference of me, but we’re going to walk you through there. Tell me, see, hear, taste, touch, and smell as if you were there. By the way, these moments that we remember crystal clear like this, that’s what’s going on. The reason that you remember that moment crystal clear is that it is a seminal moment in your life, in a way, you are still living it. That’s why it’s so clear to you because in a way, you were still there every day or every time something like this comes up. It’s causing you to repeat pain. You’re reliving the emotion and the experience every time. After this, the memory will start to fade and let it because you won’t ever want to see this the way that you’re seeing this now. It’s you sending your energy back in time almost. Since on the highest level, there’s no time in space. You’re bringing the energy of that into your current moment. It’s not even that you’re sending it back in time, that would be bad enough. You’re bringing that old energy here. You’re continuing to feed off of it in a negative way. That’s why it still hurts. That’s what we’re going to break. Close your eyes and tell me, what do you see, hear taste, touch, and smell?

We were in the front of the house. It’s a porch. It’s white. The house is blue. My mom and I are standing in the door jam at the front of the house. My dad is three steps. He’s standing at the top of the step. They’re saying something to each other, I can’t recall. He said, “I’m going to leave then.” I’ve been told that what they were saying was that he would come back to the house for the children that my mom said, “If you don’t love me, you’re not coming back.”

That’s what you’ve told from your mother or by somebody else?

My dad. I approached him about this. I asked him what happened that day, “Was it because of the blanket?” He said he’s never wanted to talk to me about it. He didn’t even want to talk to me about it because he doesn’t want me to have or about my mom. I said, “Dad, I have to understand why you left that day.” He finally told me the whole backstory. Basically, he said that day she said that he could stay if it was for her. I remember him standing there. She was dressed with her updo thing that they used to wear in the early ‘70s. She looked nice. My dad was always dressed in slacks and a dress shirt. He was always dressed very professionally. They’re both pharmacists. I remember him saying, “I’m going to leave.” He starts to walk down the stairs. I remember looking at my mom in disbelief. My mom looked at me in my eyes and said, “He’s leaving because you always turn on the heating blanket. He doesn’t like that.” I said, “I was just playing.” She said, “This is what happened. He’s leaving because of that.” I was in disbelief and crying.

Stay where you are. Keep your eyes closed. I need you to go and stand in that space in your mind’s eye.

It was a beautiful day. I was standing there. I was like 6 or 7 years old. I was so happy until that moment.

Your father didn’t say goodbye to you, did he?

I don’t think so.

Nobody explained anything to you.

No, I just know that it was my fault. I don’t believe my dad said, “Bye.” He didn’t.

Freeze the moment and step out of the moment. Keep releasing this until you’re all the way through the other side of it.

I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to do this.

It’s okay. You kept this bottled up inside of you and for over many years, let’s get through to the other side of it. Deep breath.

Sorry about all of this.

It’s all right. If I had known that it was going to set you off like that, I wouldn’t have asked you. Normally, when I deal with women all the time who’ve been raped or seen murder, the craziest things, I never ever asked anybody to walk all the way into that kind of scenario because it’s not necessary to relive the trauma fully. We got you down there first before I realized what was going on. I know that you’re feeling back to center now. I want to invite you not to go in the inside of the experience. Instead, I want to invite you to go and watch as if you were standing aside so that you can see everybody there. You can see your 6 or 7-year-old self, your mother, and your father, but your still Selma now. Go back to the porch, but go back on the outside. You can see Selma. It’s like a movie playing, but it’s no longer that you’re inside of the scenario. This keeps you safe and protected. It keeps your emotions protected. We’re here to get some information. Close your eyes. Look at your dad on the porch. You know it wasn’t about the blanket. I know that now. He told you that you didn’t have anything to do with that. When you went and spoke with him, he told you that he and your mom were having terrible problems, that’s why he left, and it had nothing to do with you because that’s the way it always is. It has nothing to do with the kids. Nobody leaves because they don’t love their children, they love their spouse, but not their kids. It’s not how it works. Look at your father standing on that porch. Are you willing to forgive him for the choices that he made with you and the choices that he made that day for himself for being a man first and a father second? Are you willing to forgive him? Yes. Look at him and say to him in your mind’s eye or you can say it out loud, whatever it is, that you would like to forgive him. I’m doing it in my head. Is he willing to receive your forgiveness?

Yes.

Look at little Selma and ask her if she is also willing to receive your forgiveness. You have to forgive little Selma for misunderstanding, from believing mom, from not knowing any better, for being mischievous, just playing, and not understanding any consequences including her mother’s wrath which had nothing to do with the reality of the situation, and yet it was still there. Are you willing to forgive little Selma for all of those things? Yes. Is little Selma able to receive your forgiveness? Yes. We’ll come back to the Selma in a minute. We’re not done with her, but let’s go to mom. Look at your mom. She has treated you like crap your entire life, obviously. She constantly picks your brother over you. Even though you don’t want to live off of your mom the way that your brother’s living off of her, that’s not what you want. That’s not unhealthy for you. It’s not healthy for him but never mind. Everyone is always doing their best. It’s sometimes that sucks. When our parents suck, it’s usually because of how they were raised. The experiences that they had in their lifetimes because they aren’t given the right tools. Even Dr. Spock isn’t really the parent handbook that we need. The parent handbook that we need is pretty straightforward. “Don’t treat your kids like crap.” Parents don’t get that handbook. They tend to because they have bad tools and they’re bad tools or bad modeling by the previous generation and the lack of education because we don’t value it. It wasn’t exactly your mom’s fault. Although she’d been a different person, she would’ve shown up better. Are you willing to forgive her? Yes. Is your mom able to receive your forgiveness?

I don’t know.

In this moment, frozen in time, ask her. Your adult Selma looks over at her. She’s talking to me right now so I can hear her, but she has something she wants to tell you if you can listen. Can you hear her?

Yes.

What is she saying to you?

Part of her is saying that those are all my own issues and I am going to stop blaming her or being mad at her, but deep down inside, I know that there’s a heart. I know that she loves me. She just doesn’t know how to express it to me.

What’s your mother’s first name?

Selma.

I’m going to talk to old Selma. You’re big Selma, little Selma standing on the porch, she’s old Selma. I’m going to talk to old Selma for a minute. “Old Selma, it’s Halle. Old Selma, tell big Selma and little Selma what you’re telling me right now. Speak the truth from your highest place. Don’t talk about what that moment was in that moment. Don’t tell seven-year-old Selma about her issues. Speak the truth and tell big Selma and little Selma the truth about you.” Listen for what she’s going to tell you and tell me what she says. Can you hear her?

She loves me and that it’s not easy to be in another country without her family.

What she’s saying?

She’s saying that she wants me to take care of her like she’s the little girl and she just wants to be loved.

What else does she say? Why has she acted the way that she’s acted? Selma tells Selma. Can you hear her?

She’s also been very hurt all her life, I guess. She didn’t know how to do it any other way.

She’s terrified. That’s what she keeps saying to me over and over again. “I’m terrified.”

She’s like a child.

It’s a good way of seeing it. She’s like a child. Now, leave mom for a minute. Look at little Selma. Little Selma needs a new mom and needs to be taken care of properly by somebody that isn’t her mother because her mother doesn’t have the right tools. Are you willing to be little Selma’s new mom? Are you willing to take care of her?

Yes.

Are you willing to help little Selma get what she needs? Ask little Selma what she needs and tell me what she tells you.

She needs to be loved, accepted, and trust the people aren’t going to walk out on her. She likes to play a lot and be curious. She wants to feel safe, being able to do that, and know that she’s going to be loved. She wants to be a child to be taken care of.

Little Selma, tell big Selma three ways that she could take care of you and make you feel loved and taken care of. What are three ways?

To spend time with me, laugh with me, hug me, and provide the meals for me because mom doesn’t make food. She was always asleep.

Stick with what little Selma is telling you. She wants you to spend time, laugh, hug, and cook for her.

To protect her. She’s going to feel protected if you do all those things. Right, little Selma?

Yes. The most important thing is little Selma wants to be able to say things and know that she’s still going to be loved even when she says things.

Little Selma, will you feel safe to say things and still be loved if big Selma is demonstrating by spending time with you, laughing with, hugging you, and making meals for you? Will you know that it’s safe to talk and know that you’re not going to get in trouble?

Yes.

Big Selma, sit back. When you cook for yourself, you are now cooking for little Selma also. When you set the table, you’re setting the place for little Selma. That’s good, right? These are tears of relief and not sadness?

They’re tears of relief, I think. I’ve gone to the point where I can’t sit and cooking anymore and I’m not taking care of my own family or myself. It’s a beautiful thing to realize that’s going to take care of my children and me because that’s when I know I’m being loved. It’s because I’m taking care of myself and little Selma.

Laugh with you and hug you. We’ll finish with a hug that will help you understand how to hug little Selma going forward and laughing with her will mean choosing things to do, movies to watch, stuff like that makes you laugh and deliberately putting little Selma in your lap when you do it. I want you to bring little Selma into your lap when you meditate. I want you to bring little Selma into your lap when you do things that are funny and fun. I want you to bring a little Selma into your lap when you eat. Little Selma, is all that okay with you?

Yes. That sounds fun.

Now, in your mind’s eye, I want you to see little Selma come to you for a hug. I want you to put your arms around you physically, hold your elbows, hold your cross your elbows and hold your arms across to give yourself a big hug all the way up to your shoulders. Feel yourself as you’re doing that. Feel yourself hugging little Selma. Can you feel that? That makes little Selma really happy because it was the first time in many years she has been held and cared for. Feel as she becomes one with you. Feel as she blends back into you. Feel yourself, holding yourself, and giving yourself a hug that you really deserve because you did great work. It was beautiful. Take three deep breaths. When you’re ready, open your eyes. I think things are going to get a lot easier for you going forward in this. That was great. You’re so brave, honestly. It’s such hard work but the good news is you never have to do it again. You’re done. From now on, you are spending time with Selma. You’re laughing with her and hugging her. That self-hug, you want to do that multiple times a day. Wrap your arms around yourself when you finish exercising. A lot of times, when you get finished with yoga, they have you do that self-hug. You’re going to do that like, “I’m so awesome, little Selma, you’re so amazing.” That’s the thing that can help her to be connected with you. As you cook, do cook for little Selma. Little Selma needs to eat three times a day, so do your kids, or you, or whatever, but you’re doing this for a little Selma. It’s going to feel so much easier. Even when you get up in the morning and you meditate, “Come on, little Selma. Come sit on my lap.” Little Halle, by the way, is six. She loves to read. Whenever big Halle is reading another goddess book, little Halle is right there with her. It energetically changes everything for you. You did beautifully. How do you feel?

Thank you. I feel better. That was a lot of insight. A big a-ha moment about the food and cooking?

You look younger. I don’t know how else to explain that, but that’s what I’m seeing. You look like the weight of the world is falling off of you. I will see you again very soon. Any insight that you have that you want to share with me, follow up, and let me know any more a-ha’s that come to you. That’s your homework. It’s to spend time with little Selma. Keep those commitments to her every single day because what you said, she wanted to be able to say things and still be loved. We prove it to her through your actions. All you have to do is pay attention to her, spend time with her, laugh with her, hug her, cook for her, and she’ll be able to know that she’s trustable.

Thank you so much, Halle.

Thank you. You were unbelievably brave. I’m really proud of you.

Have a wonderful day. Thank you.

You too. Blessings. Bye.